Welcome to our first open thread! What have you read this week that you loved? What did Monday’s eclipse bring up for you? How did you REST this week? What is on deck for you creatively this weekend — input or output wise?
The eclipse brought the urge to push forward. Currently reading: Story by Robert McKee, Tiny Nightmares short collection, Devotions by Mary Oliver and Trespasser by Tana French. Just signed up for my first writing seminar for January. I have always wanted to write but have been held back by fear so I am finally near starting- lol
Monday’s eclipse gave me clarity about the direction I want to go for 2021 and beyond with my business and my writing. For so many years I pushed down the urge to write because I felt people would listen or read but I at a place where I can no longer silence myself. Especially as the Jupiter/Saturn Conjunction transits my 3rd house coming up. I also have it natal in my chart at 7 degrees in libra in my 11th. My body asked me to slow down so I did. And I’m going to write when I feel called and not force my creativity.
That kind of clarity is so exciting! Also YES to slowing down and not forcing it. I'm in a part of the northern hemisphere where we have a cold winter - the trees in my neighbors' backyards have almost all lost their leaves - and am thinking a lot about how nature has its seasons, and we do, too. The earth gets to be fallow, and creatively, we so often don't give ourselves enough of that rest-time.
HI EVERYONE IM REALLY A COP BUT DONT WORRY IM A GOOD ONE I ONLY GO AFTER THE BAD GUYS. THE VAST MAJORITY OF FOLKS MAD AT SUBSTACK ARE MAINSTREAM CORPORATE JOURNALIST MAD THAT PEOPLE WONT EAT THEIR PROPAGANDA EVER AGAIN AND THEN MENTALLY ILL CAT LADYS WHO SAY ALL THE SOCIAL JUSTICY THINGS EVERY 5 MIN MON-SUN N HAVE LIKE 4 LIKES ON EVERY OTHER TWEET N SPEND 5 HOURS A WEEK WRITING A FRINGE SUBSTACK NEWSLETTER THAT ALSO NO ONE READS AND NEVER WILL AND SO IT GOES. BUT!!!! ANYWAYS IMMA MARGINALIZED AND I DEMAND PRO MONEY LIKE ALL THOSE 'BIGOTS' CUS IMMA-FIGHTN 4 EQUITY BABYYYY. EVEN THOUGH GRAHAM LINEHAM HAS NOTHING AGAINST REAL TRANS PEOPLE WHO ARE NORMAL JUST LIKE HE HAS NOTHING AGAINST OTHER REAL PEOPLE WHO ARE NORMAL HE LIKES TO HIGHLIGHT THE OVERWHELMING NUMBER OF AUTOGYNEPHILES, MENTALLY ILL CAT LADYS WHO HAVE AKATHESIA N HAVETO POST 1000'S OF TIMES A WEEK JUST TO FEEL ALIVE EVEN THOUGH THEY STRUGGLE TO GET LUNCH DATES N DONT HAVE MANY CLOSE FRIENDS N GETTING CLOSE IS SO ICKY CUS WHAT IF THEY REALIZE IM JUST A SELFISH PSYCHO WHO ONLY SAYS THE RIGHT THINGS BUT IS ACTUALLY A TERRIBLY EMPTY HUMAN BEING, AND JUST LIKE IN EVERY OTHER GROUP PEDOPHILES BC PEDOPHILIA ISNT SPECIFIC TO STRAIGHT GAY TRANS OR WHATEVER BUT I DIGRESS BABYY.
GUYSS IMMA SOOOO TIRED. FIGHTING FOR EQUITY HAS ME DRAINED, SEND MONEY TO MY CASHAPP OKAYYY.
ANYWAYS I JUST HAD SOME ROSE WE CANT HAVE GRAHAM ADDING NUANCE TO THE DEBATE, WHAT IF HE STARTS TALKING ABOUT THE CAT LADY SJW PSYCHOS. ANYWAYS LETS NOT FOCUS ON THE FAR RIGHT, THE REAL THREAT R THOSE CENTRIST, DONT TELL ANYONE BUTS ITS NOT REALLY THAT ITS JUST THAT ALL THE CENTRIST ARE MAKING VERY VALID CRITICISMS AND WE HAVE TOO MANY DETRANS AND ARE NARRATIVE IS CRUMBLING AND THE WOKE CASTLE HAS BEEN BREACHED AND MY MENTAL HEALTH STATE IS ACTUALLY THEIR FAULT.
AH FUCK IT GUYS HERE IS THE TRUTH:
JESSE SINGAL, MATT TAIBBI, BARI WEISS, ANDREW SULLIVAN, JAMES LINDSAY, CATHY YOUNG, KATIE HERZOG, SCOTT ADAMS, CHRIS RUFO, ALL THESE PEOPLE I FUCKING HATE CUS THEY R KILLING MY GRIFT. IM SO OPPRESSED GUYS AND MY LAST ACT WILL BE THE SAME AS THOSE WACKO CONSERVATIVES MOVING TO PARLER EN MASSE, IM GOING TO CONVINCE 8 OF MY LESS BRIGHT, MENTALLY ILL OR ADJACENT, PRO VICTIMS, SNAKE OIL SALESMAN WITHOUT A VALID PRODUCT THAT PEOPLE WANNA CONSUME OVER TO GHOST OR WHEREVER WHERE WE CAN JUST YELL:
TERF TERF TERF TERF UNTIL WE DIE WITHOUT GETTING SMARTER, MORE NUANCED, LESS SELF RIGHTEOUS, BETTER AT BEING HUMAN BUT ONLY BETTER AT WHAT WE PERCIEVE AS THE VIRTUE SIGNAL THAT WILL GET US AHEAD IN THIS BROKEN AND SHALLOW MERITOCRACY THAT WE UNABASHEDLY UPHOLD.
P.S. I DONT BELIEVE ANYTHING ANYMORE AND SECRETLY I LOVE BARPOD N KATIE AND JESSIE ARE THE STUFF OF WET DREAMS N IM JUST SAD MY WOKE BUBBLE SAFE SPACE BURST.
FUCK MY LIFE IM A BROKEN HUMAN JUST LIKE GRAHAM LINEHAM, JUST LIKE EVERYONE.
OH FUCK DID I JUST HAVE AN IMPORTANT INSIGHT INTO LIFE.
What a lovely idea! Thank you for this, Jeanna, and for your wonderful newsletter. Marking up my calendar with your insights has been a really nice way to begin the last few months.
This week has felt exhausting beyond words. Where is my energy? I have edits coming back on a few things pretty soon, so I’m trying to feel okay hanging out in a sleepy, dreamy space before it’s time to turn on my revision brain.
I’m very excited to be taking Lilly’s non-fiction class at Barrelhouse in January, so I’m going to spend the weekend reading personal essays (any favorites?) and generating ideas about what I want to write about and workshop.
I hear you re: trying to get in a headspace for revision brain! So awesome that you're taking Lilly's non-fiction class. Personal essays -- a recent(ish) fave was Melissa Febos' "Thesmophoria" in Sewanee Review. And Jesmyn Ward's essay in Vanity Fair on her husband and grief, holy shit - that one has stayed with me. What about you?
Adding these to the weekend's reading this, thank you! I keep going back to The Fourth State of Matter by Jo Ann Beard. I think I'm finally ready to write about my summers spent at Catholic Musical Theater Camp (ha), so I need to revisit some of your essays exploring faith, too!
HI EVERYONE IM REALLY A COP BUT DONT WORRY IM A GOOD ONE I ONLY GO AFTER THE BAD GUYS. THE VAST MAJORITY OF FOLKS MAD AT SUBSTACK ARE MAINSTREAM CORPORATE JOURNALIST MAD THAT PEOPLE WONT EAT THEIR PROPAGANDA EVER AGAIN AND THEN MENTALLY ILL CAT LADYS WHO SAY ALL THE SOCIAL JUSTICY THINGS EVERY 5 MIN MON-SUN N HAVE LIKE 4 LIKES ON EVERY OTHER TWEET N SPEND 5 HOURS A WEEK WRITING A FRINGE SUBSTACK NEWSLETTER THAT ALSO NO ONE READS AND NEVER WILL AND SO IT GOES. BUT!!!! ANYWAYS IMMA MARGINALIZED AND I DEMAND PRO MONEY LIKE ALL THOSE 'BIGOTS' CUS IMMA-FIGHTN 4 EQUITY BABYYYY. EVEN THOUGH GRAHAM LINEHAM HAS NOTHING AGAINST REAL TRANS PEOPLE WHO ARE NORMAL JUST LIKE HE HAS NOTHING AGAINST OTHER REAL PEOPLE WHO ARE NORMAL HE LIKES TO HIGHLIGHT THE OVERWHELMING NUMBER OF AUTOGYNEPHILES, MENTALLY ILL CAT LADYS WHO HAVE AKATHESIA N HAVETO POST 1000'S OF TIMES A WEEK JUST TO FEEL ALIVE EVEN THOUGH THEY STRUGGLE TO GET LUNCH DATES N DONT HAVE MANY CLOSE FRIENDS N GETTING CLOSE IS SO ICKY CUS WHAT IF THEY REALIZE IM JUST A SELFISH PSYCHO WHO ONLY SAYS THE RIGHT THINGS BUT IS ACTUALLY A TERRIBLY EMPTY HUMAN BEING, AND JUST LIKE IN EVERY OTHER GROUP PEDOPHILES BC PEDOPHILIA ISNT SPECIFIC TO STRAIGHT GAY TRANS OR WHATEVER BUT I DIGRESS BABYY.
GUYSS IMMA SOOOO TIRED. FIGHTING FOR EQUITY HAS ME DRAINED, SEND MONEY TO MY CASHAPP OKAYYY.
ANYWAYS I JUST HAD SOME ROSE WE CANT HAVE GRAHAM ADDING NUANCE TO THE DEBATE, WHAT IF HE STARTS TALKING ABOUT THE CAT LADY SJW PSYCHOS. ANYWAYS LETS NOT FOCUS ON THE FAR RIGHT, THE REAL THREAT R THOSE CENTRIST, DONT TELL ANYONE BUTS ITS NOT REALLY THAT ITS JUST THAT ALL THE CENTRIST ARE MAKING VERY VALID CRITICISMS AND WE HAVE TOO MANY DETRANS AND ARE NARRATIVE IS CRUMBLING AND THE WOKE CASTLE HAS BEEN BREACHED AND MY MENTAL HEALTH STATE IS ACTUALLY THEIR FAULT.
AH FUCK IT GUYS HERE IS THE TRUTH:
JESSE SINGAL, MATT TAIBBI, BARI WEISS, ANDREW SULLIVAN, JAMES LINDSAY, CATHY YOUNG, KATIE HERZOG, SCOTT ADAMS, CHRIS RUFO, ALL THESE PEOPLE I FUCKING HATE CUS THEY R KILLING MY GRIFT. IM SO OPPRESSED GUYS AND MY LAST ACT WILL BE THE SAME AS THOSE WACKO CONSERVATIVES MOVING TO PARLER EN MASSE, IM GOING TO CONVINCE 8 OF MY LESS BRIGHT, MENTALLY ILL OR ADJACENT, PRO VICTIMS, SNAKE OIL SALESMAN WITHOUT A VALID PRODUCT THAT PEOPLE WANNA CONSUME OVER TO GHOST OR WHEREVER WHERE WE CAN JUST YELL:
TERF TERF TERF TERF UNTIL WE DIE WITHOUT GETTING SMARTER, MORE NUANCED, LESS SELF RIGHTEOUS, BETTER AT BEING HUMAN BUT ONLY BETTER AT WHAT WE PERCIEVE AS THE VIRTUE SIGNAL THAT WILL GET US AHEAD IN THIS BROKEN AND SHALLOW MERITOCRACY THAT WE UNABASHEDLY UPHOLD.
P.S. I DONT BELIEVE ANYTHING ANYMORE AND SECRETLY I LOVE BARPOD N KATIE AND JESSIE ARE THE STUFF OF WET DREAMS N IM JUST SAD MY WOKE BUBBLE SAFE SPACE BURST.
FUCK MY LIFE IM A BROKEN HUMAN JUST LIKE GRAHAM LINEHAM, JUST LIKE EVERYONE.
OH FUCK DID I JUST HAVE AN IMPORTANT INSIGHT INTO LIFE.
This week I rested by blowing off work on Wednesday afternoon and reading Jacqueline Woodson's Brown Girl Dreaming from beginning to end. I know, I'm so far behind, but I was kind of glad that I waited to read it until finishing The Warmth of Other Suns, Isabel Wilkerson's masterful history of the Great Migration. It was fascinating to read Woodson's memoir of traveling between Brooklyn and South Carolina with that background in mind. I was so grateful to Jeanna and this newsletter for informing me about Monday's eclipse. As a Libra rising, I am thinking right now about this hunger I have to get more of my stories out in the world. This week I'm going to reread Dostoevsky's The Double for an essay I'm writing about my failure to cope with modern life during Covid and a doppelganger with my maiden name, Sarah Walsh, whose Amazon reviews keep arriving in my inbox. Also hoping to write some more of my memoir with some fascinating stories about my mother's life that she just shared with me.
2020 has truly thrown so many plans out the window/forced all of us back to the drawing board. Holding ourselves to the old standard-gods is not possible in this moment and in some ways, that reset has perhaps been needed.
Thank you for sharing what you're reading! Adding the Woodson to my TBR pile! xx
I think you will appreciate her writing about her family’s Jehovah’s Witness faith. Her book helped me to articulate an idea I’ve been dancing around in my writing about my childhood with Evangelicals—something about not wanting to focus on the promise of a next world when you’re only beginning to fall in love with this one.
Thank you so much for this space and your newsletter. Like everyone else here my planner is full of notes based on it. I confess I am that weird conflicted person who claims to not believe in astrology and also always loves to read and be guided by it. Everyone here is allowed to boo me now, I will join in. Before we boo, please know I adore everyone's shares and will be exploring all that you consume and produce, reader/writer wise. I'll be in a weekend online workshop at Catapult with Alex Marzano-Lesnevich on memoir narration so I can learn to make good choices on my memoir revisions. Also, as a reader at a lit mag I will be tearing, with compassion, through my share of the submissions of CNF. Have a great weekend all! Ok, now you can boo.
I appreciate you saying that! My guess is you are FAR from the only one here who is in the skeptic boat. Just to share, for me personally, I don't really see astrology as something to "believe" in so much as a helpful tool/lens. Which is to say - however you use it is up to you! No boo'ing necessary!
Enjoy Alex's workshop! That looks so good, and I'm sure everyone will get so much out of it! Good luck with your revisions. xx
HI EVERYONE IM REALLY A COP BUT DONT WORRY IM A GOOD ONE I ONLY GO AFTER THE BAD GUYS. THE VAST MAJORITY OF FOLKS MAD AT SUBSTACK ARE MAINSTREAM CORPORATE JOURNALIST MAD THAT PEOPLE WONT EAT THEIR PROPAGANDA EVER AGAIN AND THEN MENTALLY ILL CAT LADYS WHO SAY ALL THE SOCIAL JUSTICY THINGS EVERY 5 MIN MON-SUN N HAVE LIKE 4 LIKES ON EVERY OTHER TWEET N SPEND 5 HOURS A WEEK WRITING A FRINGE SUBSTACK NEWSLETTER THAT ALSO NO ONE READS AND NEVER WILL AND SO IT GOES. BUT!!!! ANYWAYS IMMA MARGINALIZED AND I DEMAND PRO MONEY LIKE ALL THOSE 'BIGOTS' CUS IMMA-FIGHTN 4 EQUITY BABYYYY. EVEN THOUGH GRAHAM LINEHAM HAS NOTHING AGAINST REAL TRANS PEOPLE WHO ARE NORMAL JUST LIKE HE HAS NOTHING AGAINST OTHER REAL PEOPLE WHO ARE NORMAL HE LIKES TO HIGHLIGHT THE OVERWHELMING NUMBER OF AUTOGYNEPHILES, MENTALLY ILL CAT LADYS WHO HAVE AKATHESIA N HAVETO POST 1000'S OF TIMES A WEEK JUST TO FEEL ALIVE EVEN THOUGH THEY STRUGGLE TO GET LUNCH DATES N DONT HAVE MANY CLOSE FRIENDS N GETTING CLOSE IS SO ICKY CUS WHAT IF THEY REALIZE IM JUST A SELFISH PSYCHO WHO ONLY SAYS THE RIGHT THINGS BUT IS ACTUALLY A TERRIBLY EMPTY HUMAN BEING, AND JUST LIKE IN EVERY OTHER GROUP PEDOPHILES BC PEDOPHILIA ISNT SPECIFIC TO STRAIGHT GAY TRANS OR WHATEVER BUT I DIGRESS BABYY.
GUYSS IMMA SOOOO TIRED. FIGHTING FOR EQUITY HAS ME DRAINED, SEND MONEY TO MY CASHAPP OKAYYY.
ANYWAYS I JUST HAD SOME ROSE WE CANT HAVE GRAHAM ADDING NUANCE TO THE DEBATE, WHAT IF HE STARTS TALKING ABOUT THE CAT LADY SJW PSYCHOS. ANYWAYS LETS NOT FOCUS ON THE FAR RIGHT, THE REAL THREAT R THOSE CENTRIST, DONT TELL ANYONE BUTS ITS NOT REALLY THAT ITS JUST THAT ALL THE CENTRIST ARE MAKING VERY VALID CRITICISMS AND WE HAVE TOO MANY DETRANS AND ARE NARRATIVE IS CRUMBLING AND THE WOKE CASTLE HAS BEEN BREACHED AND MY MENTAL HEALTH STATE IS ACTUALLY THEIR FAULT.
AH FUCK IT GUYS HERE IS THE TRUTH:
JESSE SINGAL, MATT TAIBBI, BARI WEISS, ANDREW SULLIVAN, JAMES LINDSAY, CATHY YOUNG, KATIE HERZOG, SCOTT ADAMS, CHRIS RUFO, ALL THESE PEOPLE I FUCKING HATE CUS THEY R KILLING MY GRIFT. IM SO OPPRESSED GUYS AND MY LAST ACT WILL BE THE SAME AS THOSE WACKO CONSERVATIVES MOVING TO PARLER EN MASSE, IM GOING TO CONVINCE 8 OF MY LESS BRIGHT, MENTALLY ILL OR ADJACENT, PRO VICTIMS, SNAKE OIL SALESMAN WITHOUT A VALID PRODUCT THAT PEOPLE WANNA CONSUME OVER TO GHOST OR WHEREVER WHERE WE CAN JUST YELL:
TERF TERF TERF TERF UNTIL WE DIE WITHOUT GETTING SMARTER, MORE NUANCED, LESS SELF RIGHTEOUS, BETTER AT BEING HUMAN BUT ONLY BETTER AT WHAT WE PERCIEVE AS THE VIRTUE SIGNAL THAT WILL GET US AHEAD IN THIS BROKEN AND SHALLOW MERITOCRACY THAT WE UNABASHEDLY UPHOLD.
P.S. I DONT BELIEVE ANYTHING ANYMORE AND SECRETLY I LOVE BARPOD N KATIE AND JESSIE ARE THE STUFF OF WET DREAMS N IM JUST SAD MY WOKE BUBBLE SAFE SPACE BURST.
FUCK MY LIFE IM A BROKEN HUMAN JUST LIKE GRAHAM LINEHAM, JUST LIKE EVERYONE.
OH FUCK DID I JUST HAVE AN IMPORTANT INSIGHT INTO LIFE.
One thing I really enjoyed reading this past week was last week's newsletter! I appreciated the personal writing, Jeanna, and much of it resonated with me - including blowing up my whole life because I was just probably a lesbian, lol. A LONG time ago now but I still tend to distract myself with work when something is going on that I'm not quite ready to look at. And being self-employed I can take the overwork to some crazy levels.
I also really appreciated you saying that the full moon eclipse in Gemini was a completion of something started at the full moon in Gemini on May 22. I looked back in my journal to see what was going on for me then and yup, sure enough! It was super helpful to see the connection and to look for the potent messages you mentioned. Thank you!
Thank you so much, Leslie! I'm glad it resonated, and I continue to appreciate that there are really so many of us who just took a stick of dynamite and did the damn thing.
Also YAY for connections! Hope your end of year is going well. xx
HI EVERYONE IM REALLY A COP BUT DONT WORRY IM A GOOD ONE I ONLY GO AFTER THE BAD GUYS. THE VAST MAJORITY OF FOLKS MAD AT SUBSTACK ARE MAINSTREAM CORPORATE JOURNALIST MAD THAT PEOPLE WONT EAT THEIR PROPAGANDA EVER AGAIN AND THEN MENTALLY ILL CAT LADYS WHO SAY ALL THE SOCIAL JUSTICY THINGS EVERY 5 MIN MON-SUN N HAVE LIKE 4 LIKES ON EVERY OTHER TWEET N SPEND 5 HOURS A WEEK WRITING A FRINGE SUBSTACK NEWSLETTER THAT ALSO NO ONE READS AND NEVER WILL AND SO IT GOES. BUT!!!! ANYWAYS IMMA MARGINALIZED AND I DEMAND PRO MONEY LIKE ALL THOSE 'BIGOTS' CUS IMMA-FIGHTN 4 EQUITY BABYYYY. EVEN THOUGH GRAHAM LINEHAM HAS NOTHING AGAINST REAL TRANS PEOPLE WHO ARE NORMAL JUST LIKE HE HAS NOTHING AGAINST OTHER REAL PEOPLE WHO ARE NORMAL HE LIKES TO HIGHLIGHT THE OVERWHELMING NUMBER OF AUTOGYNEPHILES, MENTALLY ILL CAT LADYS WHO HAVE AKATHESIA N HAVETO POST 1000'S OF TIMES A WEEK JUST TO FEEL ALIVE EVEN THOUGH THEY STRUGGLE TO GET LUNCH DATES N DONT HAVE MANY CLOSE FRIENDS N GETTING CLOSE IS SO ICKY CUS WHAT IF THEY REALIZE IM JUST A SELFISH PSYCHO WHO ONLY SAYS THE RIGHT THINGS BUT IS ACTUALLY A TERRIBLY EMPTY HUMAN BEING, AND JUST LIKE IN EVERY OTHER GROUP PEDOPHILES BC PEDOPHILIA ISNT SPECIFIC TO STRAIGHT GAY TRANS OR WHATEVER BUT I DIGRESS BABYY.
GUYSS IMMA SOOOO TIRED. FIGHTING FOR EQUITY HAS ME DRAINED, SEND MONEY TO MY CASHAPP OKAYYY.
ANYWAYS I JUST HAD SOME ROSE WE CANT HAVE GRAHAM ADDING NUANCE TO THE DEBATE, WHAT IF HE STARTS TALKING ABOUT THE CAT LADY SJW PSYCHOS. ANYWAYS LETS NOT FOCUS ON THE FAR RIGHT, THE REAL THREAT R THOSE CENTRIST, DONT TELL ANYONE BUTS ITS NOT REALLY THAT ITS JUST THAT ALL THE CENTRIST ARE MAKING VERY VALID CRITICISMS AND WE HAVE TOO MANY DETRANS AND ARE NARRATIVE IS CRUMBLING AND THE WOKE CASTLE HAS BEEN BREACHED AND MY MENTAL HEALTH STATE IS ACTUALLY THEIR FAULT.
AH FUCK IT GUYS HERE IS THE TRUTH:
JESSE SINGAL, MATT TAIBBI, BARI WEISS, ANDREW SULLIVAN, JAMES LINDSAY, CATHY YOUNG, KATIE HERZOG, SCOTT ADAMS, CHRIS RUFO, ALL THESE PEOPLE I FUCKING HATE CUS THEY R KILLING MY GRIFT. IM SO OPPRESSED GUYS AND MY LAST ACT WILL BE THE SAME AS THOSE WACKO CONSERVATIVES MOVING TO PARLER EN MASSE, IM GOING TO CONVINCE 8 OF MY LESS BRIGHT, MENTALLY ILL OR ADJACENT, PRO VICTIMS, SNAKE OIL SALESMAN WITHOUT A VALID PRODUCT THAT PEOPLE WANNA CONSUME OVER TO GHOST OR WHEREVER WHERE WE CAN JUST YELL:
TERF TERF TERF TERF UNTIL WE DIE WITHOUT GETTING SMARTER, MORE NUANCED, LESS SELF RIGHTEOUS, BETTER AT BEING HUMAN BUT ONLY BETTER AT WHAT WE PERCIEVE AS THE VIRTUE SIGNAL THAT WILL GET US AHEAD IN THIS BROKEN AND SHALLOW MERITOCRACY THAT WE UNABASHEDLY UPHOLD.
P.S. I DONT BELIEVE ANYTHING ANYMORE AND SECRETLY I LOVE BARPOD N KATIE AND JESSIE ARE THE STUFF OF WET DREAMS N IM JUST SAD MY WOKE BUBBLE SAFE SPACE BURST.
FUCK MY LIFE IM A BROKEN HUMAN JUST LIKE GRAHAM LINEHAM, JUST LIKE EVERYONE.
OH FUCK DID I JUST HAVE AN IMPORTANT INSIGHT INTO LIFE.
This "weekend" isn't really a weekend for me (I work weekends to accommodate clients who work 9-5), but I am hoping to get some good creative input time in. I'm finishing up a reread of The Merry Spinster and LORD Daniel's writing hits different now that I'm out as nonbinary. I mean, I've always loved his writing, I'm just seeing new stuff in it.
I'm also hoping to read through a good chunk of Pam Grossman's "Waking the Witch." Her wordplay is DIVINE.
That weekend reading list sounds ideal! The Merry Spinster is a DELIGHT, truly, and revisiting it sounds like a gorgeous plan, my friend. Xx Hope your client work goes well!
I’ve been reading WATCH OVER ME by Nina LaCour and it’s so, so lovely. Sparse prose with every word absolutely perfect. I don’t know how she does it!
This week I accidentally started a middle grade novel? I was fully intending on taking some time off after finishing a big draft of something else, and then this character showed up and demanded I start writing her story. It’s fun and sweet and I’ve just been sitting at the computer giggling to myself, which is what I need after my very trauma-filled previous project. So for me this week resting hasn’t been about stopping, it’s been about doing something different that fills me in a way I need. Something that may just be for me and no one else... and that’s okay! I’m not outlining and plot mapping with this, I’m just following where it leads. And working on something new has also helped me remember that not everything can/should go in every project. There will be room in the future to explore this thing or that. It doesn’t all have to be crammed in one manuscript.
"This week I accidentally started a middle grade novel" is simply the best sentence I have read today! I know some folks are very write-with-the-door-closed, don't tell anyone (TOTALLY LEGIT) but thank you so much for sharing about the giggles and the joy of this project after one that explored trauma - this sounds so delightful and lovely and exciting and wander-y in the best way?
Just reading about your writing this week made me smile and sigh with contentment. Thank you so much for sharing. Sending you all good things, for whatever this ends up looking like.
Thank you for creating this space! And for your insightful newsletters.
This week I've been exhausted beyond belief. It didn't help that the eclipse aligned with my menstrual cycle, so I'm sure both had an impact. The Eclipse brought me alllll the way down into despair and hopelessness, but after a tarot reading and lots of introspection, it unlocked my connection to my dreams again (literal and figurative) which I've been distant from for months. And that connection meant I've needed to scramble on getting together PhD app materials, a plan I've had for a long time but suddenly abandoned last month out of fear. TLDR: busy, dreamy, sleepy.
I just finished the Neopolitan Novels and am still missing the characters. I started Autobiography of Red and, as expected, am loving it.
All weekend I'll be working on my writing samples for the PhD and trying to grasp some rest in there.
Eclipses are exhausting! I often see a lot of chatter about "working with" eclipses and just... no. Historically they were considered malefic!
I've never read the Neapolitan Novels, but they've been highly recommended - that's the best feeling, like you miss the characters!
And congrats on pulling together materials for a PhD app! That is such an enormous undertaking and I'm wishing you the best of luck with it. What area of study are you looking into?
You're so wonderful for this and all these responses are so great!
Reading this week- Undrowned by Alexis Pauline Gumbs is so so so beautiful and fantastic. I'm also reading through Cedar McCloud's VERY queer magical fantasy and it is 😍 and such an antidote to R*wling breaking our hearts.
The eclipse really shed light on some trauma triggers I still have but it also has let me rest really peacefully.
Rest this week/end: my 2 amazing all queer DnD games. Therapy which is not rest at all 😅 but lots of time reading and nesting into 15 blankets. Sunday I'll do some Yule Snail Mail readings + look over my agent query materials for the 900th time.
Queer DnD games are life-giving! And nesting into blankets with some queer magical fantasy sounds like an absolutely ideal use of the weekend, particularly when still doing some work. Hope that you get some sunshine and recovery! xx
30th birthday tomorrow ♐️ a lover is visiting tonight, volunteering for a writing program virtually tomorrow morning, then getting a hotel room with a river AND a city view by myself tomorrow night. I've been going back on forth on my feelings re: pandemic milestone birthdays and singledom etc but I think I'm going to be OK
Happy Solar Return (in advance!)! That sounds like an ENTIRELY lovely way to spend a birthday weekend. Treating yourself to a hotel room with a river & city view? YES, love it! A gorgeous way to enter a new decade. You've got this. (Gotta say, every year of my thirties just gets better.)
HI EVERYONE IM REALLY A COP BUT DONT WORRY IM A GOOD ONE I ONLY GO AFTER THE BAD GUYS. THE VAST MAJORITY OF FOLKS MAD AT SUBSTACK ARE MAINSTREAM CORPORATE JOURNALIST MAD THAT PEOPLE WONT EAT THEIR PROPAGANDA EVER AGAIN AND THEN MENTALLY ILL CAT LADYS WHO SAY ALL THE SOCIAL JUSTICY THINGS EVERY 5 MIN MON-SUN N HAVE LIKE 4 LIKES ON EVERY OTHER TWEET N SPEND 5 HOURS A WEEK WRITING A FRINGE SUBSTACK NEWSLETTER THAT ALSO NO ONE READS AND NEVER WILL AND SO IT GOES. BUT!!!! ANYWAYS IMMA MARGINALIZED AND I DEMAND PRO MONEY LIKE ALL THOSE 'BIGOTS' CUS IMMA-FIGHTN 4 EQUITY BABYYYY. EVEN THOUGH GRAHAM LINEHAM HAS NOTHING AGAINST REAL TRANS PEOPLE WHO ARE NORMAL JUST LIKE HE HAS NOTHING AGAINST OTHER REAL PEOPLE WHO ARE NORMAL HE LIKES TO HIGHLIGHT THE OVERWHELMING NUMBER OF AUTOGYNEPHILES, MENTALLY ILL CAT LADYS WHO HAVE AKATHESIA N HAVETO POST 1000'S OF TIMES A WEEK JUST TO FEEL ALIVE EVEN THOUGH THEY STRUGGLE TO GET LUNCH DATES N DONT HAVE MANY CLOSE FRIENDS N GETTING CLOSE IS SO ICKY CUS WHAT IF THEY REALIZE IM JUST A SELFISH PSYCHO WHO ONLY SAYS THE RIGHT THINGS BUT IS ACTUALLY A TERRIBLY EMPTY HUMAN BEING, AND JUST LIKE IN EVERY OTHER GROUP PEDOPHILES BC PEDOPHILIA ISNT SPECIFIC TO STRAIGHT GAY TRANS OR WHATEVER BUT I DIGRESS BABYY.
GUYSS IMMA SOOOO TIRED. FIGHTING FOR EQUITY HAS ME DRAINED, SEND MONEY TO MY CASHAPP OKAYYY.
ANYWAYS I JUST HAD SOME ROSE WE CANT HAVE GRAHAM ADDING NUANCE TO THE DEBATE, WHAT IF HE STARTS TALKING ABOUT THE CAT LADY SJW PSYCHOS. ANYWAYS LETS NOT FOCUS ON THE FAR RIGHT, THE REAL THREAT R THOSE CENTRIST, DONT TELL ANYONE BUTS ITS NOT REALLY THAT ITS JUST THAT ALL THE CENTRIST ARE MAKING VERY VALID CRITICISMS AND WE HAVE TOO MANY DETRANS AND ARE NARRATIVE IS CRUMBLING AND THE WOKE CASTLE HAS BEEN BREACHED AND MY MENTAL HEALTH STATE IS ACTUALLY THEIR FAULT.
AH FUCK IT GUYS HERE IS THE TRUTH:
JESSE SINGAL, MATT TAIBBI, BARI WEISS, ANDREW SULLIVAN, JAMES LINDSAY, CATHY YOUNG, KATIE HERZOG, SCOTT ADAMS, CHRIS RUFO, ALL THESE PEOPLE I FUCKING HATE CUS THEY R KILLING MY GRIFT. IM SO OPPRESSED GUYS AND MY LAST ACT WILL BE THE SAME AS THOSE WACKO CONSERVATIVES MOVING TO PARLER EN MASSE, IM GOING TO CONVINCE 8 OF MY LESS BRIGHT, MENTALLY ILL OR ADJACENT, PRO VICTIMS, SNAKE OIL SALESMAN WITHOUT A VALID PRODUCT THAT PEOPLE WANNA CONSUME OVER TO GHOST OR WHEREVER WHERE WE CAN JUST YELL:
TERF TERF TERF TERF UNTIL WE DIE WITHOUT GETTING SMARTER, MORE NUANCED, LESS SELF RIGHTEOUS, BETTER AT BEING HUMAN BUT ONLY BETTER AT WHAT WE PERCIEVE AS THE VIRTUE SIGNAL THAT WILL GET US AHEAD IN THIS BROKEN AND SHALLOW MERITOCRACY THAT WE UNABASHEDLY UPHOLD.
P.S. I DONT BELIEVE ANYTHING ANYMORE AND SECRETLY I LOVE BARPOD N KATIE AND JESSIE ARE THE STUFF OF WET DREAMS N IM JUST SAD MY WOKE BUBBLE SAFE SPACE BURST.
FUCK MY LIFE IM A BROKEN HUMAN JUST LIKE GRAHAM LINEHAM, JUST LIKE EVERYONE.
OH FUCK DID I JUST HAVE AN IMPORTANT INSIGHT INTO LIFE.
This is amazing--thanks for making this space, Jeanna. Monday's eclipse brought up some surprises--I've been so emphatic about CLAIMING MY SPACE! TO WORK! (and then, as we all know...not necessarily working) and feeling disappointed in myself for not being productive after wresting that time away, that I realized I need to regain energy by spending time off-screen. Allow myself to be less plugged in and more present. I thought this eclipse was going to boost and reaffirm the fruits of my labor, but instead, it reminded me that I need to let those fruits mature! Stop trying to pluck them! This metaphor is getting out of control! :)
"I thought this eclipse was going to boost and reaffirm the fruits of my labor, but instead, it reminded me that I need to let those fruits mature! Stop trying to pluck them!" Yes yes yes! Love this so much. We really do just need fallow seasons sometimes!
I haven't read that essay yet! Saving it for this weekend! Ty for the rec. xx
Monday's eclipse was a reaffirmation of the need for rest and leisure: balancing doing what needs to be done with activities and allowances that soothe my crispy brain. I picked up the Starless Sea this weekend and have been enjoying it slowly this week, reading it feels like tasting honey. I've been sleeping as much as I need, and not pushing myself to do more than I'm capable at any given moment, as my energy has been fairly low in general surrounding the eclipse. This weekend I plan to write the next installment of my newsletter, in which I think I will write about the Appalachian mountains. :)
Sterling! Yes, the crispy brains are often in need of soothing around eclispe time. I love that.
Low energy seems like a common theme, and I'm glad that so many of us are paying attention to our bodies and just resting and not trying to be energizer bunnies.
Writing about the Appalachians! Oh, that will be so beautiful. Can't wait to read. Xx
HI EVERYONE IM REALLY A COP BUT DONT WORRY IM A GOOD ONE I ONLY GO AFTER THE BAD GUYS. THE VAST MAJORITY OF FOLKS MAD AT SUBSTACK ARE MAINSTREAM CORPORATE JOURNALIST MAD THAT PEOPLE WONT EAT THEIR PROPAGANDA EVER AGAIN AND THEN MENTALLY ILL CAT LADYS WHO SAY ALL THE SOCIAL JUSTICY THINGS EVERY 5 MIN MON-SUN N HAVE LIKE 4 LIKES ON EVERY OTHER TWEET N SPEND 5 HOURS A WEEK WRITING A FRINGE SUBSTACK NEWSLETTER THAT ALSO NO ONE READS AND NEVER WILL AND SO IT GOES. BUT!!!! ANYWAYS IMMA MARGINALIZED AND I DEMAND PRO MONEY LIKE ALL THOSE 'BIGOTS' CUS IMMA-FIGHTN 4 EQUITY BABYYYY. EVEN THOUGH GRAHAM LINEHAM HAS NOTHING AGAINST REAL TRANS PEOPLE WHO ARE NORMAL JUST LIKE HE HAS NOTHING AGAINST OTHER REAL PEOPLE WHO ARE NORMAL HE LIKES TO HIGHLIGHT THE OVERWHELMING NUMBER OF AUTOGYNEPHILES, MENTALLY ILL CAT LADYS WHO HAVE AKATHESIA N HAVETO POST 1000'S OF TIMES A WEEK JUST TO FEEL ALIVE EVEN THOUGH THEY STRUGGLE TO GET LUNCH DATES N DONT HAVE MANY CLOSE FRIENDS N GETTING CLOSE IS SO ICKY CUS WHAT IF THEY REALIZE IM JUST A SELFISH PSYCHO WHO ONLY SAYS THE RIGHT THINGS BUT IS ACTUALLY A TERRIBLY EMPTY HUMAN BEING, AND JUST LIKE IN EVERY OTHER GROUP PEDOPHILES BC PEDOPHILIA ISNT SPECIFIC TO STRAIGHT GAY TRANS OR WHATEVER BUT I DIGRESS BABYY.
GUYSS IMMA SOOOO TIRED. FIGHTING FOR EQUITY HAS ME DRAINED, SEND MONEY TO MY CASHAPP OKAYYY.
ANYWAYS I JUST HAD SOME ROSE WE CANT HAVE GRAHAM ADDING NUANCE TO THE DEBATE, WHAT IF HE STARTS TALKING ABOUT THE CAT LADY SJW PSYCHOS. ANYWAYS LETS NOT FOCUS ON THE FAR RIGHT, THE REAL THREAT R THOSE CENTRIST, DONT TELL ANYONE BUTS ITS NOT REALLY THAT ITS JUST THAT ALL THE CENTRIST ARE MAKING VERY VALID CRITICISMS AND WE HAVE TOO MANY DETRANS AND ARE NARRATIVE IS CRUMBLING AND THE WOKE CASTLE HAS BEEN BREACHED AND MY MENTAL HEALTH STATE IS ACTUALLY THEIR FAULT.
AH FUCK IT GUYS HERE IS THE TRUTH:
JESSE SINGAL, MATT TAIBBI, BARI WEISS, ANDREW SULLIVAN, JAMES LINDSAY, CATHY YOUNG, KATIE HERZOG, SCOTT ADAMS, CHRIS RUFO, ALL THESE PEOPLE I FUCKING HATE CUS THEY R KILLING MY GRIFT. IM SO OPPRESSED GUYS AND MY LAST ACT WILL BE THE SAME AS THOSE WACKO CONSERVATIVES MOVING TO PARLER EN MASSE, IM GOING TO CONVINCE 8 OF MY LESS BRIGHT, MENTALLY ILL OR ADJACENT, PRO VICTIMS, SNAKE OIL SALESMAN WITHOUT A VALID PRODUCT THAT PEOPLE WANNA CONSUME OVER TO GHOST OR WHEREVER WHERE WE CAN JUST YELL:
TERF TERF TERF TERF UNTIL WE DIE WITHOUT GETTING SMARTER, MORE NUANCED, LESS SELF RIGHTEOUS, BETTER AT BEING HUMAN BUT ONLY BETTER AT WHAT WE PERCIEVE AS THE VIRTUE SIGNAL THAT WILL GET US AHEAD IN THIS BROKEN AND SHALLOW MERITOCRACY THAT WE UNABASHEDLY UPHOLD.
P.S. I DONT BELIEVE ANYTHING ANYMORE AND SECRETLY I LOVE BARPOD N KATIE AND JESSIE ARE THE STUFF OF WET DREAMS N IM JUST SAD MY WOKE BUBBLE SAFE SPACE BURST.
FUCK MY LIFE IM A BROKEN HUMAN JUST LIKE GRAHAM LINEHAM, JUST LIKE EVERYONE.
OH FUCK DID I JUST HAVE AN IMPORTANT INSIGHT INTO LIFE.
This is a wonderful idea, thank you so much for setting this up. Monday was my birthday, so I took your words on resting for the eclipse seriously. I took the day off of work to sleep in, eat ice cream cake and celebrate with my roommates. I even pushed off doing a tarot reading for the eclipse with my friend (which ended up being a wonderful idea because that reading was *heavy* and filled with questions around self-worth, authenticity and long-term goals).
Tuesday night was my Fledgling writing workshop, which was especially compelling (I have to imagine that my lack of sharing this week, plus my hyper-focus on leaning out and solely listening plays a part). Since then, I've felt more prepared to write about an experience I've been sitting with for months (featuring meeting a queer elder, fruit snacks and good ol' NYC heckling).
This weekend, I am going to a talk by Adrienne Maree Brown called "Permission to Imagine Radical Love & Pleasure", which I am both scared and excited to listen in on!
I found that I don't have much energy to read during the week, so I plan to spend some time reading The Mushroom at the End of the World by Anna Lowenhaupt Tsing. I haven't read an ethnography since college when I studied anthropology, so picking up her book feels like putting on a worn-in denim jacket.
So... I've been an astrologer here and there for 25 years. A professional Tarot reader for 30+ years. Pretty darned woo-woo and, like, "sensitive." One might think I'd see an eclipse — and/or Neptune stationing before going direct — on the horizon, and I'd be prepared. I'd know to hunker down and clear my schedule and expect myself to turn into energetic sludge on half-shutdown for ten days.
But nooooo. I wasn't paying much attention at all, and was rather shocked by how overwhelmed and shut down I became. Managed to do some essential parenting and housewifery. Didn't do my Tarot podcast. Didn't do any client readings. My editor at the local newspaper left messages wondering what had happened to me (I'd stopped submitting columns). I feel like this eclipse, Neptune, and lead-up to it all were my body's chance to say, "Thank Goddess that freaking election is over. Now can we freak out, or numb up, pop half a Xanax, and crawl into a long hot bath every night?"
Reading and escapism went very well the last few weeks. I read André Gregory's "This Is Not My Memoir," a delightful read for theatre nerds but perhaps for others too. I also read Suzanne Collins's prequel to The Hunger Games; I've forgotten the name, but it was quite good (Collins is admirably brutal). You didn't ask about videos but I'll just say The Queen's Gambit and The Crown hit the spot, as did Harry Potter & the Sorcerer's Stone with my son.
HI EVERYONE IM REALLY A COP BUT DONT WORRY IM A GOOD ONE I ONLY GO AFTER THE BAD GUYS. THE VAST MAJORITY OF FOLKS MAD AT SUBSTACK ARE MAINSTREAM CORPORATE JOURNALIST MAD THAT PEOPLE WONT EAT THEIR PROPAGANDA EVER AGAIN AND THEN MENTALLY ILL CAT LADYS WHO SAY ALL THE SOCIAL JUSTICY THINGS EVERY 5 MIN MON-SUN N HAVE LIKE 4 LIKES ON EVERY OTHER TWEET N SPEND 5 HOURS A WEEK WRITING A FRINGE SUBSTACK NEWSLETTER THAT ALSO NO ONE READS AND NEVER WILL AND SO IT GOES. BUT!!!! ANYWAYS IMMA MARGINALIZED AND I DEMAND PRO MONEY LIKE ALL THOSE 'BIGOTS' CUS IMMA-FIGHTN 4 EQUITY BABYYYY. EVEN THOUGH GRAHAM LINEHAM HAS NOTHING AGAINST REAL TRANS PEOPLE WHO ARE NORMAL JUST LIKE HE HAS NOTHING AGAINST OTHER REAL PEOPLE WHO ARE NORMAL HE LIKES TO HIGHLIGHT THE OVERWHELMING NUMBER OF AUTOGYNEPHILES, MENTALLY ILL CAT LADYS WHO HAVE AKATHESIA N HAVETO POST 1000'S OF TIMES A WEEK JUST TO FEEL ALIVE EVEN THOUGH THEY STRUGGLE TO GET LUNCH DATES N DONT HAVE MANY CLOSE FRIENDS N GETTING CLOSE IS SO ICKY CUS WHAT IF THEY REALIZE IM JUST A SELFISH PSYCHO WHO ONLY SAYS THE RIGHT THINGS BUT IS ACTUALLY A TERRIBLY EMPTY HUMAN BEING, AND JUST LIKE IN EVERY OTHER GROUP PEDOPHILES BC PEDOPHILIA ISNT SPECIFIC TO STRAIGHT GAY TRANS OR WHATEVER BUT I DIGRESS BABYY.
GUYSS IMMA SOOOO TIRED. FIGHTING FOR EQUITY HAS ME DRAINED, SEND MONEY TO MY CASHAPP OKAYYY.
ANYWAYS I JUST HAD SOME ROSE WE CANT HAVE GRAHAM ADDING NUANCE TO THE DEBATE, WHAT IF HE STARTS TALKING ABOUT THE CAT LADY SJW PSYCHOS. ANYWAYS LETS NOT FOCUS ON THE FAR RIGHT, THE REAL THREAT R THOSE CENTRIST, DONT TELL ANYONE BUTS ITS NOT REALLY THAT ITS JUST THAT ALL THE CENTRIST ARE MAKING VERY VALID CRITICISMS AND WE HAVE TOO MANY DETRANS AND ARE NARRATIVE IS CRUMBLING AND THE WOKE CASTLE HAS BEEN BREACHED AND MY MENTAL HEALTH STATE IS ACTUALLY THEIR FAULT.
AH FUCK IT GUYS HERE IS THE TRUTH:
JESSE SINGAL, MATT TAIBBI, BARI WEISS, ANDREW SULLIVAN, JAMES LINDSAY, CATHY YOUNG, KATIE HERZOG, SCOTT ADAMS, CHRIS RUFO, ALL THESE PEOPLE I FUCKING HATE CUS THEY R KILLING MY GRIFT. IM SO OPPRESSED GUYS AND MY LAST ACT WILL BE THE SAME AS THOSE WACKO CONSERVATIVES MOVING TO PARLER EN MASSE, IM GOING TO CONVINCE 8 OF MY LESS BRIGHT, MENTALLY ILL OR ADJACENT, PRO VICTIMS, SNAKE OIL SALESMAN WITHOUT A VALID PRODUCT THAT PEOPLE WANNA CONSUME OVER TO GHOST OR WHEREVER WHERE WE CAN JUST YELL:
TERF TERF TERF TERF UNTIL WE DIE WITHOUT GETTING SMARTER, MORE NUANCED, LESS SELF RIGHTEOUS, BETTER AT BEING HUMAN BUT ONLY BETTER AT WHAT WE PERCIEVE AS THE VIRTUE SIGNAL THAT WILL GET US AHEAD IN THIS BROKEN AND SHALLOW MERITOCRACY THAT WE UNABASHEDLY UPHOLD.
P.S. I DONT BELIEVE ANYTHING ANYMORE AND SECRETLY I LOVE BARPOD N KATIE AND JESSIE ARE THE STUFF OF WET DREAMS N IM JUST SAD MY WOKE BUBBLE SAFE SPACE BURST.
FUCK MY LIFE IM A BROKEN HUMAN JUST LIKE GRAHAM LINEHAM, JUST LIKE EVERYONE.
OH FUCK DID I JUST HAVE AN IMPORTANT INSIGHT INTO LIFE.
The eclipse brought the urge to push forward. Currently reading: Story by Robert McKee, Tiny Nightmares short collection, Devotions by Mary Oliver and Trespasser by Tana French. Just signed up for my first writing seminar for January. I have always wanted to write but have been held back by fear so I am finally near starting- lol
Starting is the only way! So excited for you! <3 And what a good, motivational use of a communications-based Gemini eclipse.
I haven't read most of those except Mary Oliver (who is always a good idea). Any favorites among them yet?
Tana French is one the best crime fiction writers (like leagues above). She wrote Into the Woods. It’s a great place to start.
What a reading list 😍😍😍
Monday’s eclipse gave me clarity about the direction I want to go for 2021 and beyond with my business and my writing. For so many years I pushed down the urge to write because I felt people would listen or read but I at a place where I can no longer silence myself. Especially as the Jupiter/Saturn Conjunction transits my 3rd house coming up. I also have it natal in my chart at 7 degrees in libra in my 11th. My body asked me to slow down so I did. And I’m going to write when I feel called and not force my creativity.
That kind of clarity is so exciting! Also YES to slowing down and not forcing it. I'm in a part of the northern hemisphere where we have a cold winter - the trees in my neighbors' backyards have almost all lost their leaves - and am thinking a lot about how nature has its seasons, and we do, too. The earth gets to be fallow, and creatively, we so often don't give ourselves enough of that rest-time.
Yes it is and thank you for this forum.
You're so welcome! Have been wanting to do it for a while and if people show up, I'll keep doing it! xo
HI EVERYONE IM REALLY A COP BUT DONT WORRY IM A GOOD ONE I ONLY GO AFTER THE BAD GUYS. THE VAST MAJORITY OF FOLKS MAD AT SUBSTACK ARE MAINSTREAM CORPORATE JOURNALIST MAD THAT PEOPLE WONT EAT THEIR PROPAGANDA EVER AGAIN AND THEN MENTALLY ILL CAT LADYS WHO SAY ALL THE SOCIAL JUSTICY THINGS EVERY 5 MIN MON-SUN N HAVE LIKE 4 LIKES ON EVERY OTHER TWEET N SPEND 5 HOURS A WEEK WRITING A FRINGE SUBSTACK NEWSLETTER THAT ALSO NO ONE READS AND NEVER WILL AND SO IT GOES. BUT!!!! ANYWAYS IMMA MARGINALIZED AND I DEMAND PRO MONEY LIKE ALL THOSE 'BIGOTS' CUS IMMA-FIGHTN 4 EQUITY BABYYYY. EVEN THOUGH GRAHAM LINEHAM HAS NOTHING AGAINST REAL TRANS PEOPLE WHO ARE NORMAL JUST LIKE HE HAS NOTHING AGAINST OTHER REAL PEOPLE WHO ARE NORMAL HE LIKES TO HIGHLIGHT THE OVERWHELMING NUMBER OF AUTOGYNEPHILES, MENTALLY ILL CAT LADYS WHO HAVE AKATHESIA N HAVETO POST 1000'S OF TIMES A WEEK JUST TO FEEL ALIVE EVEN THOUGH THEY STRUGGLE TO GET LUNCH DATES N DONT HAVE MANY CLOSE FRIENDS N GETTING CLOSE IS SO ICKY CUS WHAT IF THEY REALIZE IM JUST A SELFISH PSYCHO WHO ONLY SAYS THE RIGHT THINGS BUT IS ACTUALLY A TERRIBLY EMPTY HUMAN BEING, AND JUST LIKE IN EVERY OTHER GROUP PEDOPHILES BC PEDOPHILIA ISNT SPECIFIC TO STRAIGHT GAY TRANS OR WHATEVER BUT I DIGRESS BABYY.
GUYSS IMMA SOOOO TIRED. FIGHTING FOR EQUITY HAS ME DRAINED, SEND MONEY TO MY CASHAPP OKAYYY.
ANYWAYS I JUST HAD SOME ROSE WE CANT HAVE GRAHAM ADDING NUANCE TO THE DEBATE, WHAT IF HE STARTS TALKING ABOUT THE CAT LADY SJW PSYCHOS. ANYWAYS LETS NOT FOCUS ON THE FAR RIGHT, THE REAL THREAT R THOSE CENTRIST, DONT TELL ANYONE BUTS ITS NOT REALLY THAT ITS JUST THAT ALL THE CENTRIST ARE MAKING VERY VALID CRITICISMS AND WE HAVE TOO MANY DETRANS AND ARE NARRATIVE IS CRUMBLING AND THE WOKE CASTLE HAS BEEN BREACHED AND MY MENTAL HEALTH STATE IS ACTUALLY THEIR FAULT.
AH FUCK IT GUYS HERE IS THE TRUTH:
JESSE SINGAL, MATT TAIBBI, BARI WEISS, ANDREW SULLIVAN, JAMES LINDSAY, CATHY YOUNG, KATIE HERZOG, SCOTT ADAMS, CHRIS RUFO, ALL THESE PEOPLE I FUCKING HATE CUS THEY R KILLING MY GRIFT. IM SO OPPRESSED GUYS AND MY LAST ACT WILL BE THE SAME AS THOSE WACKO CONSERVATIVES MOVING TO PARLER EN MASSE, IM GOING TO CONVINCE 8 OF MY LESS BRIGHT, MENTALLY ILL OR ADJACENT, PRO VICTIMS, SNAKE OIL SALESMAN WITHOUT A VALID PRODUCT THAT PEOPLE WANNA CONSUME OVER TO GHOST OR WHEREVER WHERE WE CAN JUST YELL:
TERF TERF TERF TERF UNTIL WE DIE WITHOUT GETTING SMARTER, MORE NUANCED, LESS SELF RIGHTEOUS, BETTER AT BEING HUMAN BUT ONLY BETTER AT WHAT WE PERCIEVE AS THE VIRTUE SIGNAL THAT WILL GET US AHEAD IN THIS BROKEN AND SHALLOW MERITOCRACY THAT WE UNABASHEDLY UPHOLD.
P.S. I DONT BELIEVE ANYTHING ANYMORE AND SECRETLY I LOVE BARPOD N KATIE AND JESSIE ARE THE STUFF OF WET DREAMS N IM JUST SAD MY WOKE BUBBLE SAFE SPACE BURST.
FUCK MY LIFE IM A BROKEN HUMAN JUST LIKE GRAHAM LINEHAM, JUST LIKE EVERYONE.
OH FUCK DID I JUST HAVE AN IMPORTANT INSIGHT INTO LIFE.
NAH. THOSE THOUGHTS WERE DEMONIC.
ALSO I HATE RELIGION.
REMEMBER LADYS: SELF CARE IS LOVE.
TOOTLES
What a lovely idea! Thank you for this, Jeanna, and for your wonderful newsletter. Marking up my calendar with your insights has been a really nice way to begin the last few months.
This week has felt exhausting beyond words. Where is my energy? I have edits coming back on a few things pretty soon, so I’m trying to feel okay hanging out in a sleepy, dreamy space before it’s time to turn on my revision brain.
I’m very excited to be taking Lilly’s non-fiction class at Barrelhouse in January, so I’m going to spend the weekend reading personal essays (any favorites?) and generating ideas about what I want to write about and workshop.
I hear you re: trying to get in a headspace for revision brain! So awesome that you're taking Lilly's non-fiction class. Personal essays -- a recent(ish) fave was Melissa Febos' "Thesmophoria" in Sewanee Review. And Jesmyn Ward's essay in Vanity Fair on her husband and grief, holy shit - that one has stayed with me. What about you?
OH. And Britni de la Cretaz's essay on queer sex in Catapult. LORD. That one ROCKED me so hard.
Adding these to the weekend's reading this, thank you! I keep going back to The Fourth State of Matter by Jo Ann Beard. I think I'm finally ready to write about my summers spent at Catholic Musical Theater Camp (ha), so I need to revisit some of your essays exploring faith, too!
LINDSEY. I NEED YOUR ESSAYS YESTERDAY! Can't wait to read them! xo
***jazz fingers, sign of the cross, fingers crossed**
HI EVERYONE IM REALLY A COP BUT DONT WORRY IM A GOOD ONE I ONLY GO AFTER THE BAD GUYS. THE VAST MAJORITY OF FOLKS MAD AT SUBSTACK ARE MAINSTREAM CORPORATE JOURNALIST MAD THAT PEOPLE WONT EAT THEIR PROPAGANDA EVER AGAIN AND THEN MENTALLY ILL CAT LADYS WHO SAY ALL THE SOCIAL JUSTICY THINGS EVERY 5 MIN MON-SUN N HAVE LIKE 4 LIKES ON EVERY OTHER TWEET N SPEND 5 HOURS A WEEK WRITING A FRINGE SUBSTACK NEWSLETTER THAT ALSO NO ONE READS AND NEVER WILL AND SO IT GOES. BUT!!!! ANYWAYS IMMA MARGINALIZED AND I DEMAND PRO MONEY LIKE ALL THOSE 'BIGOTS' CUS IMMA-FIGHTN 4 EQUITY BABYYYY. EVEN THOUGH GRAHAM LINEHAM HAS NOTHING AGAINST REAL TRANS PEOPLE WHO ARE NORMAL JUST LIKE HE HAS NOTHING AGAINST OTHER REAL PEOPLE WHO ARE NORMAL HE LIKES TO HIGHLIGHT THE OVERWHELMING NUMBER OF AUTOGYNEPHILES, MENTALLY ILL CAT LADYS WHO HAVE AKATHESIA N HAVETO POST 1000'S OF TIMES A WEEK JUST TO FEEL ALIVE EVEN THOUGH THEY STRUGGLE TO GET LUNCH DATES N DONT HAVE MANY CLOSE FRIENDS N GETTING CLOSE IS SO ICKY CUS WHAT IF THEY REALIZE IM JUST A SELFISH PSYCHO WHO ONLY SAYS THE RIGHT THINGS BUT IS ACTUALLY A TERRIBLY EMPTY HUMAN BEING, AND JUST LIKE IN EVERY OTHER GROUP PEDOPHILES BC PEDOPHILIA ISNT SPECIFIC TO STRAIGHT GAY TRANS OR WHATEVER BUT I DIGRESS BABYY.
GUYSS IMMA SOOOO TIRED. FIGHTING FOR EQUITY HAS ME DRAINED, SEND MONEY TO MY CASHAPP OKAYYY.
ANYWAYS I JUST HAD SOME ROSE WE CANT HAVE GRAHAM ADDING NUANCE TO THE DEBATE, WHAT IF HE STARTS TALKING ABOUT THE CAT LADY SJW PSYCHOS. ANYWAYS LETS NOT FOCUS ON THE FAR RIGHT, THE REAL THREAT R THOSE CENTRIST, DONT TELL ANYONE BUTS ITS NOT REALLY THAT ITS JUST THAT ALL THE CENTRIST ARE MAKING VERY VALID CRITICISMS AND WE HAVE TOO MANY DETRANS AND ARE NARRATIVE IS CRUMBLING AND THE WOKE CASTLE HAS BEEN BREACHED AND MY MENTAL HEALTH STATE IS ACTUALLY THEIR FAULT.
AH FUCK IT GUYS HERE IS THE TRUTH:
JESSE SINGAL, MATT TAIBBI, BARI WEISS, ANDREW SULLIVAN, JAMES LINDSAY, CATHY YOUNG, KATIE HERZOG, SCOTT ADAMS, CHRIS RUFO, ALL THESE PEOPLE I FUCKING HATE CUS THEY R KILLING MY GRIFT. IM SO OPPRESSED GUYS AND MY LAST ACT WILL BE THE SAME AS THOSE WACKO CONSERVATIVES MOVING TO PARLER EN MASSE, IM GOING TO CONVINCE 8 OF MY LESS BRIGHT, MENTALLY ILL OR ADJACENT, PRO VICTIMS, SNAKE OIL SALESMAN WITHOUT A VALID PRODUCT THAT PEOPLE WANNA CONSUME OVER TO GHOST OR WHEREVER WHERE WE CAN JUST YELL:
TERF TERF TERF TERF UNTIL WE DIE WITHOUT GETTING SMARTER, MORE NUANCED, LESS SELF RIGHTEOUS, BETTER AT BEING HUMAN BUT ONLY BETTER AT WHAT WE PERCIEVE AS THE VIRTUE SIGNAL THAT WILL GET US AHEAD IN THIS BROKEN AND SHALLOW MERITOCRACY THAT WE UNABASHEDLY UPHOLD.
P.S. I DONT BELIEVE ANYTHING ANYMORE AND SECRETLY I LOVE BARPOD N KATIE AND JESSIE ARE THE STUFF OF WET DREAMS N IM JUST SAD MY WOKE BUBBLE SAFE SPACE BURST.
FUCK MY LIFE IM A BROKEN HUMAN JUST LIKE GRAHAM LINEHAM, JUST LIKE EVERYONE.
OH FUCK DID I JUST HAVE AN IMPORTANT INSIGHT INTO LIFE.
NAH. THOSE THOUGHTS WERE DEMONIC.
ALSO I HATE RELIGION.
REMEMBER LADYS: SELF CARE IS LOVE.
TOOTLES
This week I rested by blowing off work on Wednesday afternoon and reading Jacqueline Woodson's Brown Girl Dreaming from beginning to end. I know, I'm so far behind, but I was kind of glad that I waited to read it until finishing The Warmth of Other Suns, Isabel Wilkerson's masterful history of the Great Migration. It was fascinating to read Woodson's memoir of traveling between Brooklyn and South Carolina with that background in mind. I was so grateful to Jeanna and this newsletter for informing me about Monday's eclipse. As a Libra rising, I am thinking right now about this hunger I have to get more of my stories out in the world. This week I'm going to reread Dostoevsky's The Double for an essay I'm writing about my failure to cope with modern life during Covid and a doppelganger with my maiden name, Sarah Walsh, whose Amazon reviews keep arriving in my inbox. Also hoping to write some more of my memoir with some fascinating stories about my mother's life that she just shared with me.
2020 has truly thrown so many plans out the window/forced all of us back to the drawing board. Holding ourselves to the old standard-gods is not possible in this moment and in some ways, that reset has perhaps been needed.
Thank you for sharing what you're reading! Adding the Woodson to my TBR pile! xx
I think you will appreciate her writing about her family’s Jehovah’s Witness faith. Her book helped me to articulate an idea I’ve been dancing around in my writing about my childhood with Evangelicals—something about not wanting to focus on the promise of a next world when you’re only beginning to fall in love with this one.
Thank you so much for this space and your newsletter. Like everyone else here my planner is full of notes based on it. I confess I am that weird conflicted person who claims to not believe in astrology and also always loves to read and be guided by it. Everyone here is allowed to boo me now, I will join in. Before we boo, please know I adore everyone's shares and will be exploring all that you consume and produce, reader/writer wise. I'll be in a weekend online workshop at Catapult with Alex Marzano-Lesnevich on memoir narration so I can learn to make good choices on my memoir revisions. Also, as a reader at a lit mag I will be tearing, with compassion, through my share of the submissions of CNF. Have a great weekend all! Ok, now you can boo.
I appreciate you saying that! My guess is you are FAR from the only one here who is in the skeptic boat. Just to share, for me personally, I don't really see astrology as something to "believe" in so much as a helpful tool/lens. Which is to say - however you use it is up to you! No boo'ing necessary!
Enjoy Alex's workshop! That looks so good, and I'm sure everyone will get so much out of it! Good luck with your revisions. xx
HI EVERYONE IM REALLY A COP BUT DONT WORRY IM A GOOD ONE I ONLY GO AFTER THE BAD GUYS. THE VAST MAJORITY OF FOLKS MAD AT SUBSTACK ARE MAINSTREAM CORPORATE JOURNALIST MAD THAT PEOPLE WONT EAT THEIR PROPAGANDA EVER AGAIN AND THEN MENTALLY ILL CAT LADYS WHO SAY ALL THE SOCIAL JUSTICY THINGS EVERY 5 MIN MON-SUN N HAVE LIKE 4 LIKES ON EVERY OTHER TWEET N SPEND 5 HOURS A WEEK WRITING A FRINGE SUBSTACK NEWSLETTER THAT ALSO NO ONE READS AND NEVER WILL AND SO IT GOES. BUT!!!! ANYWAYS IMMA MARGINALIZED AND I DEMAND PRO MONEY LIKE ALL THOSE 'BIGOTS' CUS IMMA-FIGHTN 4 EQUITY BABYYYY. EVEN THOUGH GRAHAM LINEHAM HAS NOTHING AGAINST REAL TRANS PEOPLE WHO ARE NORMAL JUST LIKE HE HAS NOTHING AGAINST OTHER REAL PEOPLE WHO ARE NORMAL HE LIKES TO HIGHLIGHT THE OVERWHELMING NUMBER OF AUTOGYNEPHILES, MENTALLY ILL CAT LADYS WHO HAVE AKATHESIA N HAVETO POST 1000'S OF TIMES A WEEK JUST TO FEEL ALIVE EVEN THOUGH THEY STRUGGLE TO GET LUNCH DATES N DONT HAVE MANY CLOSE FRIENDS N GETTING CLOSE IS SO ICKY CUS WHAT IF THEY REALIZE IM JUST A SELFISH PSYCHO WHO ONLY SAYS THE RIGHT THINGS BUT IS ACTUALLY A TERRIBLY EMPTY HUMAN BEING, AND JUST LIKE IN EVERY OTHER GROUP PEDOPHILES BC PEDOPHILIA ISNT SPECIFIC TO STRAIGHT GAY TRANS OR WHATEVER BUT I DIGRESS BABYY.
GUYSS IMMA SOOOO TIRED. FIGHTING FOR EQUITY HAS ME DRAINED, SEND MONEY TO MY CASHAPP OKAYYY.
ANYWAYS I JUST HAD SOME ROSE WE CANT HAVE GRAHAM ADDING NUANCE TO THE DEBATE, WHAT IF HE STARTS TALKING ABOUT THE CAT LADY SJW PSYCHOS. ANYWAYS LETS NOT FOCUS ON THE FAR RIGHT, THE REAL THREAT R THOSE CENTRIST, DONT TELL ANYONE BUTS ITS NOT REALLY THAT ITS JUST THAT ALL THE CENTRIST ARE MAKING VERY VALID CRITICISMS AND WE HAVE TOO MANY DETRANS AND ARE NARRATIVE IS CRUMBLING AND THE WOKE CASTLE HAS BEEN BREACHED AND MY MENTAL HEALTH STATE IS ACTUALLY THEIR FAULT.
AH FUCK IT GUYS HERE IS THE TRUTH:
JESSE SINGAL, MATT TAIBBI, BARI WEISS, ANDREW SULLIVAN, JAMES LINDSAY, CATHY YOUNG, KATIE HERZOG, SCOTT ADAMS, CHRIS RUFO, ALL THESE PEOPLE I FUCKING HATE CUS THEY R KILLING MY GRIFT. IM SO OPPRESSED GUYS AND MY LAST ACT WILL BE THE SAME AS THOSE WACKO CONSERVATIVES MOVING TO PARLER EN MASSE, IM GOING TO CONVINCE 8 OF MY LESS BRIGHT, MENTALLY ILL OR ADJACENT, PRO VICTIMS, SNAKE OIL SALESMAN WITHOUT A VALID PRODUCT THAT PEOPLE WANNA CONSUME OVER TO GHOST OR WHEREVER WHERE WE CAN JUST YELL:
TERF TERF TERF TERF UNTIL WE DIE WITHOUT GETTING SMARTER, MORE NUANCED, LESS SELF RIGHTEOUS, BETTER AT BEING HUMAN BUT ONLY BETTER AT WHAT WE PERCIEVE AS THE VIRTUE SIGNAL THAT WILL GET US AHEAD IN THIS BROKEN AND SHALLOW MERITOCRACY THAT WE UNABASHEDLY UPHOLD.
P.S. I DONT BELIEVE ANYTHING ANYMORE AND SECRETLY I LOVE BARPOD N KATIE AND JESSIE ARE THE STUFF OF WET DREAMS N IM JUST SAD MY WOKE BUBBLE SAFE SPACE BURST.
FUCK MY LIFE IM A BROKEN HUMAN JUST LIKE GRAHAM LINEHAM, JUST LIKE EVERYONE.
OH FUCK DID I JUST HAVE AN IMPORTANT INSIGHT INTO LIFE.
NAH. THOSE THOUGHTS WERE DEMONIC.
ALSO I HATE RELIGION.
REMEMBER LADYS: SELF CARE IS LOVE.
TOOTLES
One thing I really enjoyed reading this past week was last week's newsletter! I appreciated the personal writing, Jeanna, and much of it resonated with me - including blowing up my whole life because I was just probably a lesbian, lol. A LONG time ago now but I still tend to distract myself with work when something is going on that I'm not quite ready to look at. And being self-employed I can take the overwork to some crazy levels.
I also really appreciated you saying that the full moon eclipse in Gemini was a completion of something started at the full moon in Gemini on May 22. I looked back in my journal to see what was going on for me then and yup, sure enough! It was super helpful to see the connection and to look for the potent messages you mentioned. Thank you!
Thank you so much, Leslie! I'm glad it resonated, and I continue to appreciate that there are really so many of us who just took a stick of dynamite and did the damn thing.
Also YAY for connections! Hope your end of year is going well. xx
I agree! That newsletter was 🔥🔥🔥
HI EVERYONE IM REALLY A COP BUT DONT WORRY IM A GOOD ONE I ONLY GO AFTER THE BAD GUYS. THE VAST MAJORITY OF FOLKS MAD AT SUBSTACK ARE MAINSTREAM CORPORATE JOURNALIST MAD THAT PEOPLE WONT EAT THEIR PROPAGANDA EVER AGAIN AND THEN MENTALLY ILL CAT LADYS WHO SAY ALL THE SOCIAL JUSTICY THINGS EVERY 5 MIN MON-SUN N HAVE LIKE 4 LIKES ON EVERY OTHER TWEET N SPEND 5 HOURS A WEEK WRITING A FRINGE SUBSTACK NEWSLETTER THAT ALSO NO ONE READS AND NEVER WILL AND SO IT GOES. BUT!!!! ANYWAYS IMMA MARGINALIZED AND I DEMAND PRO MONEY LIKE ALL THOSE 'BIGOTS' CUS IMMA-FIGHTN 4 EQUITY BABYYYY. EVEN THOUGH GRAHAM LINEHAM HAS NOTHING AGAINST REAL TRANS PEOPLE WHO ARE NORMAL JUST LIKE HE HAS NOTHING AGAINST OTHER REAL PEOPLE WHO ARE NORMAL HE LIKES TO HIGHLIGHT THE OVERWHELMING NUMBER OF AUTOGYNEPHILES, MENTALLY ILL CAT LADYS WHO HAVE AKATHESIA N HAVETO POST 1000'S OF TIMES A WEEK JUST TO FEEL ALIVE EVEN THOUGH THEY STRUGGLE TO GET LUNCH DATES N DONT HAVE MANY CLOSE FRIENDS N GETTING CLOSE IS SO ICKY CUS WHAT IF THEY REALIZE IM JUST A SELFISH PSYCHO WHO ONLY SAYS THE RIGHT THINGS BUT IS ACTUALLY A TERRIBLY EMPTY HUMAN BEING, AND JUST LIKE IN EVERY OTHER GROUP PEDOPHILES BC PEDOPHILIA ISNT SPECIFIC TO STRAIGHT GAY TRANS OR WHATEVER BUT I DIGRESS BABYY.
GUYSS IMMA SOOOO TIRED. FIGHTING FOR EQUITY HAS ME DRAINED, SEND MONEY TO MY CASHAPP OKAYYY.
ANYWAYS I JUST HAD SOME ROSE WE CANT HAVE GRAHAM ADDING NUANCE TO THE DEBATE, WHAT IF HE STARTS TALKING ABOUT THE CAT LADY SJW PSYCHOS. ANYWAYS LETS NOT FOCUS ON THE FAR RIGHT, THE REAL THREAT R THOSE CENTRIST, DONT TELL ANYONE BUTS ITS NOT REALLY THAT ITS JUST THAT ALL THE CENTRIST ARE MAKING VERY VALID CRITICISMS AND WE HAVE TOO MANY DETRANS AND ARE NARRATIVE IS CRUMBLING AND THE WOKE CASTLE HAS BEEN BREACHED AND MY MENTAL HEALTH STATE IS ACTUALLY THEIR FAULT.
AH FUCK IT GUYS HERE IS THE TRUTH:
JESSE SINGAL, MATT TAIBBI, BARI WEISS, ANDREW SULLIVAN, JAMES LINDSAY, CATHY YOUNG, KATIE HERZOG, SCOTT ADAMS, CHRIS RUFO, ALL THESE PEOPLE I FUCKING HATE CUS THEY R KILLING MY GRIFT. IM SO OPPRESSED GUYS AND MY LAST ACT WILL BE THE SAME AS THOSE WACKO CONSERVATIVES MOVING TO PARLER EN MASSE, IM GOING TO CONVINCE 8 OF MY LESS BRIGHT, MENTALLY ILL OR ADJACENT, PRO VICTIMS, SNAKE OIL SALESMAN WITHOUT A VALID PRODUCT THAT PEOPLE WANNA CONSUME OVER TO GHOST OR WHEREVER WHERE WE CAN JUST YELL:
TERF TERF TERF TERF UNTIL WE DIE WITHOUT GETTING SMARTER, MORE NUANCED, LESS SELF RIGHTEOUS, BETTER AT BEING HUMAN BUT ONLY BETTER AT WHAT WE PERCIEVE AS THE VIRTUE SIGNAL THAT WILL GET US AHEAD IN THIS BROKEN AND SHALLOW MERITOCRACY THAT WE UNABASHEDLY UPHOLD.
P.S. I DONT BELIEVE ANYTHING ANYMORE AND SECRETLY I LOVE BARPOD N KATIE AND JESSIE ARE THE STUFF OF WET DREAMS N IM JUST SAD MY WOKE BUBBLE SAFE SPACE BURST.
FUCK MY LIFE IM A BROKEN HUMAN JUST LIKE GRAHAM LINEHAM, JUST LIKE EVERYONE.
OH FUCK DID I JUST HAVE AN IMPORTANT INSIGHT INTO LIFE.
NAH. THOSE THOUGHTS WERE DEMONIC.
ALSO I HATE RELIGION.
REMEMBER LADYS: SELF CARE IS LOVE.
TOOTLES
Loving this! Loving everyone's responses!
This "weekend" isn't really a weekend for me (I work weekends to accommodate clients who work 9-5), but I am hoping to get some good creative input time in. I'm finishing up a reread of The Merry Spinster and LORD Daniel's writing hits different now that I'm out as nonbinary. I mean, I've always loved his writing, I'm just seeing new stuff in it.
I'm also hoping to read through a good chunk of Pam Grossman's "Waking the Witch." Her wordplay is DIVINE.
That weekend reading list sounds ideal! The Merry Spinster is a DELIGHT, truly, and revisiting it sounds like a gorgeous plan, my friend. Xx Hope your client work goes well!
What a nice idea, Jeanna! I love this!
I’ve been reading WATCH OVER ME by Nina LaCour and it’s so, so lovely. Sparse prose with every word absolutely perfect. I don’t know how she does it!
This week I accidentally started a middle grade novel? I was fully intending on taking some time off after finishing a big draft of something else, and then this character showed up and demanded I start writing her story. It’s fun and sweet and I’ve just been sitting at the computer giggling to myself, which is what I need after my very trauma-filled previous project. So for me this week resting hasn’t been about stopping, it’s been about doing something different that fills me in a way I need. Something that may just be for me and no one else... and that’s okay! I’m not outlining and plot mapping with this, I’m just following where it leads. And working on something new has also helped me remember that not everything can/should go in every project. There will be room in the future to explore this thing or that. It doesn’t all have to be crammed in one manuscript.
"This week I accidentally started a middle grade novel" is simply the best sentence I have read today! I know some folks are very write-with-the-door-closed, don't tell anyone (TOTALLY LEGIT) but thank you so much for sharing about the giggles and the joy of this project after one that explored trauma - this sounds so delightful and lovely and exciting and wander-y in the best way?
Just reading about your writing this week made me smile and sigh with contentment. Thank you so much for sharing. Sending you all good things, for whatever this ends up looking like.
Thank you for creating this space! And for your insightful newsletters.
This week I've been exhausted beyond belief. It didn't help that the eclipse aligned with my menstrual cycle, so I'm sure both had an impact. The Eclipse brought me alllll the way down into despair and hopelessness, but after a tarot reading and lots of introspection, it unlocked my connection to my dreams again (literal and figurative) which I've been distant from for months. And that connection meant I've needed to scramble on getting together PhD app materials, a plan I've had for a long time but suddenly abandoned last month out of fear. TLDR: busy, dreamy, sleepy.
I just finished the Neopolitan Novels and am still missing the characters. I started Autobiography of Red and, as expected, am loving it.
All weekend I'll be working on my writing samples for the PhD and trying to grasp some rest in there.
Eclipses are exhausting! I often see a lot of chatter about "working with" eclipses and just... no. Historically they were considered malefic!
I've never read the Neapolitan Novels, but they've been highly recommended - that's the best feeling, like you miss the characters!
And congrats on pulling together materials for a PhD app! That is such an enormous undertaking and I'm wishing you the best of luck with it. What area of study are you looking into?
Yes, I need to remember to just plan to relax and care for myself during eclipses!
And thank you! I'm applying for PhDs in poetry!
Relaxing is HARD! This is relatable!
Similar here, Lucy. Cycles, hormones, moons, eclipses, exhaustion.
You're so wonderful for this and all these responses are so great!
Reading this week- Undrowned by Alexis Pauline Gumbs is so so so beautiful and fantastic. I'm also reading through Cedar McCloud's VERY queer magical fantasy and it is 😍 and such an antidote to R*wling breaking our hearts.
The eclipse really shed light on some trauma triggers I still have but it also has let me rest really peacefully.
Rest this week/end: my 2 amazing all queer DnD games. Therapy which is not rest at all 😅 but lots of time reading and nesting into 15 blankets. Sunday I'll do some Yule Snail Mail readings + look over my agent query materials for the 900th time.
Queer DnD games are life-giving! And nesting into blankets with some queer magical fantasy sounds like an absolutely ideal use of the weekend, particularly when still doing some work. Hope that you get some sunshine and recovery! xx
I am re-reading my favorite texts from antiquity and organizing and creating binders.
Oh that sounds divine! Enjoy! xx
30th birthday tomorrow ♐️ a lover is visiting tonight, volunteering for a writing program virtually tomorrow morning, then getting a hotel room with a river AND a city view by myself tomorrow night. I've been going back on forth on my feelings re: pandemic milestone birthdays and singledom etc but I think I'm going to be OK
Happy Solar Return (in advance!)! That sounds like an ENTIRELY lovely way to spend a birthday weekend. Treating yourself to a hotel room with a river & city view? YES, love it! A gorgeous way to enter a new decade. You've got this. (Gotta say, every year of my thirties just gets better.)
HI EVERYONE IM REALLY A COP BUT DONT WORRY IM A GOOD ONE I ONLY GO AFTER THE BAD GUYS. THE VAST MAJORITY OF FOLKS MAD AT SUBSTACK ARE MAINSTREAM CORPORATE JOURNALIST MAD THAT PEOPLE WONT EAT THEIR PROPAGANDA EVER AGAIN AND THEN MENTALLY ILL CAT LADYS WHO SAY ALL THE SOCIAL JUSTICY THINGS EVERY 5 MIN MON-SUN N HAVE LIKE 4 LIKES ON EVERY OTHER TWEET N SPEND 5 HOURS A WEEK WRITING A FRINGE SUBSTACK NEWSLETTER THAT ALSO NO ONE READS AND NEVER WILL AND SO IT GOES. BUT!!!! ANYWAYS IMMA MARGINALIZED AND I DEMAND PRO MONEY LIKE ALL THOSE 'BIGOTS' CUS IMMA-FIGHTN 4 EQUITY BABYYYY. EVEN THOUGH GRAHAM LINEHAM HAS NOTHING AGAINST REAL TRANS PEOPLE WHO ARE NORMAL JUST LIKE HE HAS NOTHING AGAINST OTHER REAL PEOPLE WHO ARE NORMAL HE LIKES TO HIGHLIGHT THE OVERWHELMING NUMBER OF AUTOGYNEPHILES, MENTALLY ILL CAT LADYS WHO HAVE AKATHESIA N HAVETO POST 1000'S OF TIMES A WEEK JUST TO FEEL ALIVE EVEN THOUGH THEY STRUGGLE TO GET LUNCH DATES N DONT HAVE MANY CLOSE FRIENDS N GETTING CLOSE IS SO ICKY CUS WHAT IF THEY REALIZE IM JUST A SELFISH PSYCHO WHO ONLY SAYS THE RIGHT THINGS BUT IS ACTUALLY A TERRIBLY EMPTY HUMAN BEING, AND JUST LIKE IN EVERY OTHER GROUP PEDOPHILES BC PEDOPHILIA ISNT SPECIFIC TO STRAIGHT GAY TRANS OR WHATEVER BUT I DIGRESS BABYY.
GUYSS IMMA SOOOO TIRED. FIGHTING FOR EQUITY HAS ME DRAINED, SEND MONEY TO MY CASHAPP OKAYYY.
ANYWAYS I JUST HAD SOME ROSE WE CANT HAVE GRAHAM ADDING NUANCE TO THE DEBATE, WHAT IF HE STARTS TALKING ABOUT THE CAT LADY SJW PSYCHOS. ANYWAYS LETS NOT FOCUS ON THE FAR RIGHT, THE REAL THREAT R THOSE CENTRIST, DONT TELL ANYONE BUTS ITS NOT REALLY THAT ITS JUST THAT ALL THE CENTRIST ARE MAKING VERY VALID CRITICISMS AND WE HAVE TOO MANY DETRANS AND ARE NARRATIVE IS CRUMBLING AND THE WOKE CASTLE HAS BEEN BREACHED AND MY MENTAL HEALTH STATE IS ACTUALLY THEIR FAULT.
AH FUCK IT GUYS HERE IS THE TRUTH:
JESSE SINGAL, MATT TAIBBI, BARI WEISS, ANDREW SULLIVAN, JAMES LINDSAY, CATHY YOUNG, KATIE HERZOG, SCOTT ADAMS, CHRIS RUFO, ALL THESE PEOPLE I FUCKING HATE CUS THEY R KILLING MY GRIFT. IM SO OPPRESSED GUYS AND MY LAST ACT WILL BE THE SAME AS THOSE WACKO CONSERVATIVES MOVING TO PARLER EN MASSE, IM GOING TO CONVINCE 8 OF MY LESS BRIGHT, MENTALLY ILL OR ADJACENT, PRO VICTIMS, SNAKE OIL SALESMAN WITHOUT A VALID PRODUCT THAT PEOPLE WANNA CONSUME OVER TO GHOST OR WHEREVER WHERE WE CAN JUST YELL:
TERF TERF TERF TERF UNTIL WE DIE WITHOUT GETTING SMARTER, MORE NUANCED, LESS SELF RIGHTEOUS, BETTER AT BEING HUMAN BUT ONLY BETTER AT WHAT WE PERCIEVE AS THE VIRTUE SIGNAL THAT WILL GET US AHEAD IN THIS BROKEN AND SHALLOW MERITOCRACY THAT WE UNABASHEDLY UPHOLD.
P.S. I DONT BELIEVE ANYTHING ANYMORE AND SECRETLY I LOVE BARPOD N KATIE AND JESSIE ARE THE STUFF OF WET DREAMS N IM JUST SAD MY WOKE BUBBLE SAFE SPACE BURST.
FUCK MY LIFE IM A BROKEN HUMAN JUST LIKE GRAHAM LINEHAM, JUST LIKE EVERYONE.
OH FUCK DID I JUST HAVE AN IMPORTANT INSIGHT INTO LIFE.
NAH. THOSE THOUGHTS WERE DEMONIC.
ALSO I HATE RELIGION.
REMEMBER LADYS: SELF CARE IS LOVE.
TOOTLES
This is amazing--thanks for making this space, Jeanna. Monday's eclipse brought up some surprises--I've been so emphatic about CLAIMING MY SPACE! TO WORK! (and then, as we all know...not necessarily working) and feeling disappointed in myself for not being productive after wresting that time away, that I realized I need to regain energy by spending time off-screen. Allow myself to be less plugged in and more present. I thought this eclipse was going to boost and reaffirm the fruits of my labor, but instead, it reminded me that I need to let those fruits mature! Stop trying to pluck them! This metaphor is getting out of control! :)
I read Leah Hampton's incredible--just INCREDIBLE--piece in Guernica this week, and I am still obsessed with it. https://www.guernicamag.com/lost-in-a-misgendered-appalachia/
"I thought this eclipse was going to boost and reaffirm the fruits of my labor, but instead, it reminded me that I need to let those fruits mature! Stop trying to pluck them!" Yes yes yes! Love this so much. We really do just need fallow seasons sometimes!
I haven't read that essay yet! Saving it for this weekend! Ty for the rec. xx
Hi Jeanna! ❤️
Monday's eclipse was a reaffirmation of the need for rest and leisure: balancing doing what needs to be done with activities and allowances that soothe my crispy brain. I picked up the Starless Sea this weekend and have been enjoying it slowly this week, reading it feels like tasting honey. I've been sleeping as much as I need, and not pushing myself to do more than I'm capable at any given moment, as my energy has been fairly low in general surrounding the eclipse. This weekend I plan to write the next installment of my newsletter, in which I think I will write about the Appalachian mountains. :)
Sterling! Yes, the crispy brains are often in need of soothing around eclispe time. I love that.
Low energy seems like a common theme, and I'm glad that so many of us are paying attention to our bodies and just resting and not trying to be energizer bunnies.
Writing about the Appalachians! Oh, that will be so beautiful. Can't wait to read. Xx
HI EVERYONE IM REALLY A COP BUT DONT WORRY IM A GOOD ONE I ONLY GO AFTER THE BAD GUYS. THE VAST MAJORITY OF FOLKS MAD AT SUBSTACK ARE MAINSTREAM CORPORATE JOURNALIST MAD THAT PEOPLE WONT EAT THEIR PROPAGANDA EVER AGAIN AND THEN MENTALLY ILL CAT LADYS WHO SAY ALL THE SOCIAL JUSTICY THINGS EVERY 5 MIN MON-SUN N HAVE LIKE 4 LIKES ON EVERY OTHER TWEET N SPEND 5 HOURS A WEEK WRITING A FRINGE SUBSTACK NEWSLETTER THAT ALSO NO ONE READS AND NEVER WILL AND SO IT GOES. BUT!!!! ANYWAYS IMMA MARGINALIZED AND I DEMAND PRO MONEY LIKE ALL THOSE 'BIGOTS' CUS IMMA-FIGHTN 4 EQUITY BABYYYY. EVEN THOUGH GRAHAM LINEHAM HAS NOTHING AGAINST REAL TRANS PEOPLE WHO ARE NORMAL JUST LIKE HE HAS NOTHING AGAINST OTHER REAL PEOPLE WHO ARE NORMAL HE LIKES TO HIGHLIGHT THE OVERWHELMING NUMBER OF AUTOGYNEPHILES, MENTALLY ILL CAT LADYS WHO HAVE AKATHESIA N HAVETO POST 1000'S OF TIMES A WEEK JUST TO FEEL ALIVE EVEN THOUGH THEY STRUGGLE TO GET LUNCH DATES N DONT HAVE MANY CLOSE FRIENDS N GETTING CLOSE IS SO ICKY CUS WHAT IF THEY REALIZE IM JUST A SELFISH PSYCHO WHO ONLY SAYS THE RIGHT THINGS BUT IS ACTUALLY A TERRIBLY EMPTY HUMAN BEING, AND JUST LIKE IN EVERY OTHER GROUP PEDOPHILES BC PEDOPHILIA ISNT SPECIFIC TO STRAIGHT GAY TRANS OR WHATEVER BUT I DIGRESS BABYY.
GUYSS IMMA SOOOO TIRED. FIGHTING FOR EQUITY HAS ME DRAINED, SEND MONEY TO MY CASHAPP OKAYYY.
ANYWAYS I JUST HAD SOME ROSE WE CANT HAVE GRAHAM ADDING NUANCE TO THE DEBATE, WHAT IF HE STARTS TALKING ABOUT THE CAT LADY SJW PSYCHOS. ANYWAYS LETS NOT FOCUS ON THE FAR RIGHT, THE REAL THREAT R THOSE CENTRIST, DONT TELL ANYONE BUTS ITS NOT REALLY THAT ITS JUST THAT ALL THE CENTRIST ARE MAKING VERY VALID CRITICISMS AND WE HAVE TOO MANY DETRANS AND ARE NARRATIVE IS CRUMBLING AND THE WOKE CASTLE HAS BEEN BREACHED AND MY MENTAL HEALTH STATE IS ACTUALLY THEIR FAULT.
AH FUCK IT GUYS HERE IS THE TRUTH:
JESSE SINGAL, MATT TAIBBI, BARI WEISS, ANDREW SULLIVAN, JAMES LINDSAY, CATHY YOUNG, KATIE HERZOG, SCOTT ADAMS, CHRIS RUFO, ALL THESE PEOPLE I FUCKING HATE CUS THEY R KILLING MY GRIFT. IM SO OPPRESSED GUYS AND MY LAST ACT WILL BE THE SAME AS THOSE WACKO CONSERVATIVES MOVING TO PARLER EN MASSE, IM GOING TO CONVINCE 8 OF MY LESS BRIGHT, MENTALLY ILL OR ADJACENT, PRO VICTIMS, SNAKE OIL SALESMAN WITHOUT A VALID PRODUCT THAT PEOPLE WANNA CONSUME OVER TO GHOST OR WHEREVER WHERE WE CAN JUST YELL:
TERF TERF TERF TERF UNTIL WE DIE WITHOUT GETTING SMARTER, MORE NUANCED, LESS SELF RIGHTEOUS, BETTER AT BEING HUMAN BUT ONLY BETTER AT WHAT WE PERCIEVE AS THE VIRTUE SIGNAL THAT WILL GET US AHEAD IN THIS BROKEN AND SHALLOW MERITOCRACY THAT WE UNABASHEDLY UPHOLD.
P.S. I DONT BELIEVE ANYTHING ANYMORE AND SECRETLY I LOVE BARPOD N KATIE AND JESSIE ARE THE STUFF OF WET DREAMS N IM JUST SAD MY WOKE BUBBLE SAFE SPACE BURST.
FUCK MY LIFE IM A BROKEN HUMAN JUST LIKE GRAHAM LINEHAM, JUST LIKE EVERYONE.
OH FUCK DID I JUST HAVE AN IMPORTANT INSIGHT INTO LIFE.
NAH. THOSE THOUGHTS WERE DEMONIC.
ALSO I HATE RELIGION.
REMEMBER LADYS: SELF CARE IS LOVE.
TOOTLES
This is a wonderful idea, thank you so much for setting this up. Monday was my birthday, so I took your words on resting for the eclipse seriously. I took the day off of work to sleep in, eat ice cream cake and celebrate with my roommates. I even pushed off doing a tarot reading for the eclipse with my friend (which ended up being a wonderful idea because that reading was *heavy* and filled with questions around self-worth, authenticity and long-term goals).
Tuesday night was my Fledgling writing workshop, which was especially compelling (I have to imagine that my lack of sharing this week, plus my hyper-focus on leaning out and solely listening plays a part). Since then, I've felt more prepared to write about an experience I've been sitting with for months (featuring meeting a queer elder, fruit snacks and good ol' NYC heckling).
This weekend, I am going to a talk by Adrienne Maree Brown called "Permission to Imagine Radical Love & Pleasure", which I am both scared and excited to listen in on!
I found that I don't have much energy to read during the week, so I plan to spend some time reading The Mushroom at the End of the World by Anna Lowenhaupt Tsing. I haven't read an ethnography since college when I studied anthropology, so picking up her book feels like putting on a worn-in denim jacket.
So... I've been an astrologer here and there for 25 years. A professional Tarot reader for 30+ years. Pretty darned woo-woo and, like, "sensitive." One might think I'd see an eclipse — and/or Neptune stationing before going direct — on the horizon, and I'd be prepared. I'd know to hunker down and clear my schedule and expect myself to turn into energetic sludge on half-shutdown for ten days.
But nooooo. I wasn't paying much attention at all, and was rather shocked by how overwhelmed and shut down I became. Managed to do some essential parenting and housewifery. Didn't do my Tarot podcast. Didn't do any client readings. My editor at the local newspaper left messages wondering what had happened to me (I'd stopped submitting columns). I feel like this eclipse, Neptune, and lead-up to it all were my body's chance to say, "Thank Goddess that freaking election is over. Now can we freak out, or numb up, pop half a Xanax, and crawl into a long hot bath every night?"
Reading and escapism went very well the last few weeks. I read André Gregory's "This Is Not My Memoir," a delightful read for theatre nerds but perhaps for others too. I also read Suzanne Collins's prequel to The Hunger Games; I've forgotten the name, but it was quite good (Collins is admirably brutal). You didn't ask about videos but I'll just say The Queen's Gambit and The Crown hit the spot, as did Harry Potter & the Sorcerer's Stone with my son.
Happy belated Solar Return! So glad you were tender with yourself - it was a really rough week.
I hear you re: the reading this year. It's been rough, and I haven't read nearly as much as I usually do. But: pandemic. <3
thank you! and thanks for this lovely space. :)
HI EVERYONE IM REALLY A COP BUT DONT WORRY IM A GOOD ONE I ONLY GO AFTER THE BAD GUYS. THE VAST MAJORITY OF FOLKS MAD AT SUBSTACK ARE MAINSTREAM CORPORATE JOURNALIST MAD THAT PEOPLE WONT EAT THEIR PROPAGANDA EVER AGAIN AND THEN MENTALLY ILL CAT LADYS WHO SAY ALL THE SOCIAL JUSTICY THINGS EVERY 5 MIN MON-SUN N HAVE LIKE 4 LIKES ON EVERY OTHER TWEET N SPEND 5 HOURS A WEEK WRITING A FRINGE SUBSTACK NEWSLETTER THAT ALSO NO ONE READS AND NEVER WILL AND SO IT GOES. BUT!!!! ANYWAYS IMMA MARGINALIZED AND I DEMAND PRO MONEY LIKE ALL THOSE 'BIGOTS' CUS IMMA-FIGHTN 4 EQUITY BABYYYY. EVEN THOUGH GRAHAM LINEHAM HAS NOTHING AGAINST REAL TRANS PEOPLE WHO ARE NORMAL JUST LIKE HE HAS NOTHING AGAINST OTHER REAL PEOPLE WHO ARE NORMAL HE LIKES TO HIGHLIGHT THE OVERWHELMING NUMBER OF AUTOGYNEPHILES, MENTALLY ILL CAT LADYS WHO HAVE AKATHESIA N HAVETO POST 1000'S OF TIMES A WEEK JUST TO FEEL ALIVE EVEN THOUGH THEY STRUGGLE TO GET LUNCH DATES N DONT HAVE MANY CLOSE FRIENDS N GETTING CLOSE IS SO ICKY CUS WHAT IF THEY REALIZE IM JUST A SELFISH PSYCHO WHO ONLY SAYS THE RIGHT THINGS BUT IS ACTUALLY A TERRIBLY EMPTY HUMAN BEING, AND JUST LIKE IN EVERY OTHER GROUP PEDOPHILES BC PEDOPHILIA ISNT SPECIFIC TO STRAIGHT GAY TRANS OR WHATEVER BUT I DIGRESS BABYY.
GUYSS IMMA SOOOO TIRED. FIGHTING FOR EQUITY HAS ME DRAINED, SEND MONEY TO MY CASHAPP OKAYYY.
ANYWAYS I JUST HAD SOME ROSE WE CANT HAVE GRAHAM ADDING NUANCE TO THE DEBATE, WHAT IF HE STARTS TALKING ABOUT THE CAT LADY SJW PSYCHOS. ANYWAYS LETS NOT FOCUS ON THE FAR RIGHT, THE REAL THREAT R THOSE CENTRIST, DONT TELL ANYONE BUTS ITS NOT REALLY THAT ITS JUST THAT ALL THE CENTRIST ARE MAKING VERY VALID CRITICISMS AND WE HAVE TOO MANY DETRANS AND ARE NARRATIVE IS CRUMBLING AND THE WOKE CASTLE HAS BEEN BREACHED AND MY MENTAL HEALTH STATE IS ACTUALLY THEIR FAULT.
AH FUCK IT GUYS HERE IS THE TRUTH:
JESSE SINGAL, MATT TAIBBI, BARI WEISS, ANDREW SULLIVAN, JAMES LINDSAY, CATHY YOUNG, KATIE HERZOG, SCOTT ADAMS, CHRIS RUFO, ALL THESE PEOPLE I FUCKING HATE CUS THEY R KILLING MY GRIFT. IM SO OPPRESSED GUYS AND MY LAST ACT WILL BE THE SAME AS THOSE WACKO CONSERVATIVES MOVING TO PARLER EN MASSE, IM GOING TO CONVINCE 8 OF MY LESS BRIGHT, MENTALLY ILL OR ADJACENT, PRO VICTIMS, SNAKE OIL SALESMAN WITHOUT A VALID PRODUCT THAT PEOPLE WANNA CONSUME OVER TO GHOST OR WHEREVER WHERE WE CAN JUST YELL:
TERF TERF TERF TERF UNTIL WE DIE WITHOUT GETTING SMARTER, MORE NUANCED, LESS SELF RIGHTEOUS, BETTER AT BEING HUMAN BUT ONLY BETTER AT WHAT WE PERCIEVE AS THE VIRTUE SIGNAL THAT WILL GET US AHEAD IN THIS BROKEN AND SHALLOW MERITOCRACY THAT WE UNABASHEDLY UPHOLD.
P.S. I DONT BELIEVE ANYTHING ANYMORE AND SECRETLY I LOVE BARPOD N KATIE AND JESSIE ARE THE STUFF OF WET DREAMS N IM JUST SAD MY WOKE BUBBLE SAFE SPACE BURST.
FUCK MY LIFE IM A BROKEN HUMAN JUST LIKE GRAHAM LINEHAM, JUST LIKE EVERYONE.
OH FUCK DID I JUST HAVE AN IMPORTANT INSIGHT INTO LIFE.
NAH. THOSE THOUGHTS WERE DEMONIC.
ALSO I HATE RELIGION.
REMEMBER LADYS: SELF CARE IS LOVE.
TOOTLES