“I feel like right now, in America, it's really cool to be like, my husband sucks. But there’s no and. It’s like, okay, great, you just made 50,000 viral TikToks about how you hate this man and how he cannot locate ketchup in a grocery store and how you are raising your mother-in-law's son. And yet, you will not do anything to reclaim your life. You will not do the things that you need to value your contributions and your own humanity.”
A literal thing that happens in the state of Iowa [is that] when you go on SNAP benefits, they send you a letter about how to make your marriage better and stronger. —- this is INSANE!
Wow I don’t know how I had not read anything by Lyz before, but now I have subscribed to her newsletter, devoured God Land and am eagerly awaiting her new book!
So many gems in this essay. I am sharing it with many of my memoir students. I love the clarity and truth of saying that honesty is a craft issue. Makes me think of a quote I read this week from Wendy Cope: “When a poem doesn’t work the first question to ask yourself is ‘am I telling the truth?’”
As a solo mom, I will categorically deny that the amount of work and time I have is superior to a mother who has a partner. The experience is very different than that of a single mother with parenting support. Please do not lump this together.
I initially thought this was going to be about Witchcraft, and I was, "Lyz is a Witch too? What!" (LOL)
The one thing that kept coming up for me: This is one of the Legacies of the Burning Times × the Reformation × the "Age of Enlightenment." How many white women, especially of Western European descent, are still carrying that trauma within their/our bodies, down to their/our DNA? How many of us hear the whispered warnings in the back of our minds to "stay small in order to stay SAFE?"
This is a big part of the Shadow material that needs to be worked with and through if we have any chance of avoiding extinction as a species.
Hot damn. Yes. I lied and hid and kept secrets because I wasn't ready to do anything, to move, to be free, to break it, to change.
"There were things about my marriage that I had for 12 years, and I was friends with them before I got married, and I'm still friends with them now, but I was not telling them because I knew if I told them the truth, they would go, why are you there? And I did not have an answer, except for: I don't think I'm allowed to go."
I still have so much to tell, and I think I will one day, but I have to figure out how I will tell ist.
“I feel like right now, in America, it's really cool to be like, my husband sucks. But there’s no and. It’s like, okay, great, you just made 50,000 viral TikToks about how you hate this man and how he cannot locate ketchup in a grocery store and how you are raising your mother-in-law's son. And yet, you will not do anything to reclaim your life. You will not do the things that you need to value your contributions and your own humanity.”
🗣️ A WHOLE WORD
A literal thing that happens in the state of Iowa [is that] when you go on SNAP benefits, they send you a letter about how to make your marriage better and stronger. —- this is INSANE!
Thank you so much for having me in your fabulous newsletter!!!!!!
this explains why i never listen to TED talks!!!
(amazing interview, you're both perfect xx)
Aaaaand... now I want to be BFFs with both of you.
Wow I don’t know how I had not read anything by Lyz before, but now I have subscribed to her newsletter, devoured God Land and am eagerly awaiting her new book!
So many gems in this essay. I am sharing it with many of my memoir students. I love the clarity and truth of saying that honesty is a craft issue. Makes me think of a quote I read this week from Wendy Cope: “When a poem doesn’t work the first question to ask yourself is ‘am I telling the truth?’”
As a solo mom, I will categorically deny that the amount of work and time I have is superior to a mother who has a partner. The experience is very different than that of a single mother with parenting support. Please do not lump this together.
I initially thought this was going to be about Witchcraft, and I was, "Lyz is a Witch too? What!" (LOL)
The one thing that kept coming up for me: This is one of the Legacies of the Burning Times × the Reformation × the "Age of Enlightenment." How many white women, especially of Western European descent, are still carrying that trauma within their/our bodies, down to their/our DNA? How many of us hear the whispered warnings in the back of our minds to "stay small in order to stay SAFE?"
This is a big part of the Shadow material that needs to be worked with and through if we have any chance of avoiding extinction as a species.
Hot damn. Yes. I lied and hid and kept secrets because I wasn't ready to do anything, to move, to be free, to break it, to change.
"There were things about my marriage that I had for 12 years, and I was friends with them before I got married, and I'm still friends with them now, but I was not telling them because I knew if I told them the truth, they would go, why are you there? And I did not have an answer, except for: I don't think I'm allowed to go."
I still have so much to tell, and I think I will one day, but I have to figure out how I will tell ist.
"...you can get down from that cross, we need the wood, right?"